(Closed) Invited to the ceremony but not the reception?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What is your opinion on inviting guests to the ceremony, but not the reception?
    It's understandable because (explain) : (11 votes)
    5 %
    I think it was rude and I wouldn't have gone if I had known prior. : (162 votes)
    79 %
    I think it was rude, but I would have gone, just not given a gift. : (32 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4910 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Oh wow. How tasteless. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    IMO, that is exceptionally rude. I would def not have gone if I had known.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5957 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Oh dear, how very guache!

    Post # 6
    Member
    9549 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would have gone, given a gift, and thought it was rude.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    I think it’s very rude to have tiered receptions. Everyone should be invited to the entire event.

    I understand when a couple is part of a large church community and an open invitation is issued in the bulletin to the entite congregation, but that’s about the only situation in which it’s okay to invite people to just the ceremony. And in that case, there should certainly be no gift/card area.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Wow, very rude.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8449 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Totally rude and inconsiderate.

    Post # 10
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Tacky, tacky, tacky.  I attended a wedding where the bride and groom opted to receive a new car in lieu of a reception.  So we were treated to cake and punch and a small group attended a lavish dinner later in the evening.  I felt it was so unbelievably selfish and wanted to take my gift home.  And this was a wealthy family.

    Post # 11
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013
    Post # 12
    Member
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think that my main problem with this scienereo is how they handled it. While inviting people to the ceremony that are not invited to the reception is a sticky situation no matter what you do, I think that it would have been better if they had been honest about having a reception, and explained to you why it was done as it was. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Agree, inexcusably rude!

    Post # 14
    Member
    779 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t think it’s TERRIBLE, but I agree… Very, very rude. It’s one thing if the couple can’t AFFORD a big fancy reception, and just wanted a private catered dinner with close family, but having a MASSIVE reception afterwards… No way. I would be so upset. I would almost be tempted to say something.

    Post # 15
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    What? I definitely would not have gone if I knew. The ceremony is the boring part for me. I only attend them to get to the reception, so if I knew I wasn’t invited I’d say screw it. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    92 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think its very rude!  I can understand if the person(s) who invited you had mentioned that they would love to have you there but there were limited on number of guests they could invite but would still love to have you there for the ceremony, I *might* understand.  I don’t think it was right of them to expect you to give them any kind of gift at all.  And the fact that it was a big ball type event, I would be pissed.

    I would feel used…and like I wasn’t good enough to make the reception cut. 

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