(Closed) Invited to the reception but not the wedding. Gift?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

For extremely solemn religious ceremonies, I’ve noticed families in the past have included a much larger “Reception Only” invitation list than the Ceremony/Reception list of invites.  It’s not considered a faux-pas to do this, in fact for many it’s a relief not to endure an extended religious ceremony, especially if it’s not their shared faith, and to just be included in the celebration of and the expense of the Dinner, drinks and related entertainment!

Even though you’re not able to attend, I would still include a gift of some sort with your best wishes for their future.

Post # 4
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you’re not attending, you don’t technically have to send a gift. However, it’s a nice gesture to do so. We usually do, unless it seems like an intentional gift grab on the couple’s part. I typically spend about 50% of what I would’ve spent had we attended. We received gifts from some of the people that couldn’t attend but not all.

Alternatively, you can just send a nice card and maybe something small, like a hostess gift-type thing.

Post # 5
3101 posts
Sugar bee

@nikkibride:  When I cannot make it to a wedding, I don’t send a gift.  I’m confused, though.  The title of your post and your actual post are asking two different questions.

Post # 8
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I wouldn’t send a gift but I’d send a nice card:)

Post # 9
8861 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

personally, i would send a small gift.  but if you don’t really know the bride and don’t feel comfortably sending a gift, then you can just send a congratulatory card.


Post # 10
220 posts
Helper bee

Small gift

Post # 11
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

To be blunt – this isn’t for weddingbee’s to decide.

Do you want to send a gift?   If you don’t and are only doing it out of obligation then just save your money and don’t send it.

If you’re asking if you should send a gift it means you’re not nuts about the idea of sending a gift so don’t.  If people want to give a gift – they will find a way to make it happen.

Post # 12
46645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My decision to send a gift is not based on whether or not I can attend the wedding, nor whether or not I am invited to the ceremony/reception.

I base my decision on my relationship to the couple.

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