(Closed) Invited to the shower, but maybe not to the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When did you or are you sending out wedding invitations?
    3-6 months before the wedding : (7 votes)
    13 %
    2-3 months before the wedding : (36 votes)
    68 %
    Less than 2 months before the wedding : (10 votes)
    19 %
    More than 6 months before the wedding : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    3726 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @fzesguer:  I think a lot of people send invites at the 2 month mark. You may find that most people think sending invites 4 months ahead is excessive and make the invites more prone to being lost in the mail pile.


    Post # 4
    2400 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Uhm, you should be. I think it’s totally rude to invite someone just to the shower and not the wedding. Gift grabby in my mind.

    Post # 6
    4439 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @fzesguer:  I was in this situation, friend didn’t send out an STD for her wedding and shower invite arrived a week before the wedding invite.  I sent my invites out 3 months before the wedding but my showers were sooner than that (January wedding and trying to avoid the holidays!) that’s why my guests got STDs!

    Post # 7
    3688 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’ve always heard 6-8 weeks for wedding invitations.

    Post # 8
    4523 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @figgnewton:  +1

    @fzesguer:  This happened to me! Got a save-the-date AND shower invite…but was not invited to the wedding.

    Post # 10
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Etiquette states that wedding invitations should go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Maybe she didn’t do STD at all and you will be getting yours in July. I don’t know your friend, but do you really think she would invite someone to her shower and not to her wedding??

    Post # 11
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My wedding invitations were sent out a little less than two months before the wedding. My shower was about a month and a half before the wedding, so shower invitations necessarily went out earlier. But I DID send out save the dates about five months in advance, so people had received those. But some people don’t do save the dates.

    Post # 15
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This happened to me! I got an invite to a shower for a friend (and I use that term loosely!) but had not recieved a STD or invite. I didn’t think much of it and figured I’d go until I realized I had a pre existing engagement. 


    About a week after the shower and only a month or so before the wedding date she posted on FB that due to “medical issues” (she’s a text book hypochondriac) the wedding would be pushed back FIVE months! 


    The wedding did finally happen and wouldn’t you know I never did get invited! Yell  

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