(Closed) Invited to the Wedding but Not the Bridal Shower

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@TaurianDoll: My Maid/Matron of Honor is not inviting all the women invited to the wedding to the bridal shower by any means! To me, it is only for your closer family and friends, although I have been to some that also included the friends of the moms.

There are about 100 women on my guest list. We’re inviting 25 to the shower.

There *may* be a second shower in my FI’s hometown, which would include about 15 women. It is about 6 hours away from where my Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing a shower so they are considering doing a different one in his town. Not sure on that yet though.

Post # 4
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@TaurianDoll:  The bridal shower isn’t intended for all of your female wedding guests.  It’s more meant to be shared with the women in your life that you are close with.  If you don’t want those aunts or other family members there, don’t invite them!

Post # 5
Member
9677 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think you are required to invite every female wedding guest.  I think it’s more meant for your family members, friends, and maybe some of his family (like his mother, aunt, grandmother, sister) or his friends that you actually know.  If I had never met them before I wouldn’t invite them to my shower.

I am planning on inviting a lot of the women who are invited to the wedding, but not all.  I don’t need to invite women he works with or some of his friends I have only met once or twice (especially if they’re only the girlfriend of one of his friends, let’s say)

Post # 8
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t be worried about excluding women you’re not as close with.  In my opinion, the shower is intended for women in your closer social circle.  

Think Wedding: Social Circle

Shower: Close Social Circle

Bachelorette:  Closest Social Circle.

Post # 9
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

You definitely don’t have to invite every female guest to the shower(s). Just keep in mind that some people might get their feelings hurt if they aren’t invited. My FI’s Aunts were really upset that they weren’t invited to the shower thrown for us by church friends of FI’s family. No extended family was invited, but that didn’t help make them feel any better.

Post # 9
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

From what I understand, the bridal shower is where you’d invite closest female friends and relatives, including the ones you wouldnt feel comfortable attending your bachelorette party.. So like your friends, aunts, cousins, FSILs, Future Mother-In-Law, grandmother, etc…. 
At least thats what I’ve always been told  

Post # 11
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My mom asked me for a guest list and I omitted ladies I’ve been friends with forever but live out of state. I know they can’t come for both shower and wedding and I don’t want them to feel they need to send a gift. I am not inviting any of co-workers wives, don’t really know them and don’t want them to feel awkward and obligated. Also, a woman fiancee and I are friends with but doesn’t know any of my friends or family I left out because I know she has anxiety and why stress her out to spend an afternoon with strangers.

Post # 12
Hostess
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

No way were all of the women invited to my wedding also invited to the shower. That would have been way too many people. I ended up having three showers — one thrown by my Maid/Matron of Honor, with my closest friends as guests; one my by mom with close family and family-friends as guests; and one by my Mother-In-Law with her family and family-friends as guests.

Plus, I’ve personally been invited to several weddings in which I wasn’t invited to the shower. It’s nothing personal. I think people understand and expect that these events are more intimate.

Post # 14
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

There is no reason to invite every femaie wedding guest to the shower (unless you really want them there, of course).  Showers are really meant for close family and friends.  My shower included all of my and husband’s female relatives, my bridesmaids, and a few other close lady friends.

Post # 15
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not every woman invited to the wedding was invited to my shower. Some were coworkers who were part of an office shower, and I did not want to put an addtional burden on them; some were co-worker’s spouse, whom I do not know.  Other’s were out of state, wives of my husbands friend/co-workers, whom I really don’t know.

 

Post # 16
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m not having all the people at my wedding at the shower….only the closest people to me. On the other hand my Mom wants to invite people to the shower who are NOT coming to the wedding which I told her is NOT right..I hope she listens.

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