Post # 1
Member
8 posts
Newbee
Ok ladies–tough post so prepare yourself.
I have a very limited guest list of 50 people. Period, no exceptions. It’s caused a stir and some ruffled feathers but I have managed to hold fast and remain unmoved.
In all the news about the upcoming Prince’s wedding in England, I noticed that their ceremony is a lot larger than their reception(s).
Now it’s no surprise that I’m not royalty, but this idea struck me as a great compromise (and a great test) for those who want in on my wedding.
My reception location seats 50 (another great way to keep the guest list down) BUT my ceremony site can seat 300.
So I am thinking that I can invite people who want to come to the ceremony and the reception would be a private reception for close friends and family.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
HOW DO I ACCOMPLISH THIS IN THE INVITATIONS?
Thanks in advance, ladies!
Post # 3
Member
9 posts
Newbee
I’m in the same boat!! I was wondering if that was possible….hope someone fills us in! 🙂
Post # 4
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
I’ve been to a few weddings where the reception was not open to all the ceremony guests. Doing that would be easy, just don’t include any info about a reception in the invite to the ceremony.
Post # 5
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
hmm, I would be careful with just “not including” reception info. People are going to naturally assume that they will be invited to the reception, and will try to find out the details regardless if you include them. You’ll probably have to find a clever way to say “ceremony only” on the invite.
Post # 6
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
Honestly, if someone invited me to the ceremony but not the reception, I’d be pretty offended. However, maybe this is acceptable in other social circles?
My other concern is: even if you don’t include reception info on the invitations for ceremony-only guests, what if they go anyway? When they see other guests heading to the reception or hear them talk about the reception, wouldn’t it be natural for them to assume that they could attend as well? I can see it being a pretty awkward situation if extra guests show up to your filled-to-capacity venue.
Post # 7
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
Honestly, I think most people care more about the “party” and socializing and celebrating then the (usually) 20 minute ceremony.
If I was just invited to the ceremony and not the reception, I would be kind of insulted. It would seem rather gift grabby and I obviously don’t rate high enough to come to the actual party.
If you have to keep it at 50, keep it at 50, for both.
Post # 8
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
I would just do word of mouth in your situation. Explain that it’s a very small reception, but they are welcome to come to the ceremony.
Post # 9
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
@bunnyfoofoo: very good point!
Have two different invites printed up, one printed specifically for the guests who can not be accomadated at the reception.
Here, I found an example:
“The honour of your presence is requested at the wedding ceremony
of
Kesha Miller
and
Mr. Thomas Dwight Brown
Saturday, the twenty-third of August
at four o’clock
Church of Christ
Bedford
Post # 10
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I would be insulted by a ceremony only invite.
I would feel like I was being invited mainly because you want another gift but I’m not special enough to come to the celebration afterwards.
Post # 11
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
I’m not trying to sound harsh, just seeing things where I come from but my..
My question is are you expecting those people you invite only to ceremony give you gifts (cards..etc) ?, because that wouldn’t be fair to those are getting to go the reception and getting a nice meal?
Post # 11
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
I’m not trying to sound harsh, just seeing things where I come from but my..
My question is are you expecting those people you invite only to ceremony give you gifts (cards..etc) ?, because that wouldn’t be fair to those are getting to go the reception and getting a nice meal?
Post # 12
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
Could you do cake and punch afterwards at the ceremony site or something like that, then transition to the actual reception (so the ceremony only guests still get a little time to socialize)
Post # 13
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
I guess I should add that my parents did that, though less because of the numbers (everyone was still invited to the informal, potluck reception) but becaue my Grandma insisted on a more “formal” reception, so they did that with just cake and punch
Post # 14
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
I agree with JennaBride. If it has to be 50, then keep it at 50. I think you will get more hurt feelings inviting people to only the ceremony, than if they weren’t invited at all.
Post # 15
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
When I was younger, I remember my mother telling me about reception cards enclosed with invitations for those who were invited to receptions. However, the practice seems to have gone away almost entirely. Partial invites don’t seem common anymore.
50 is 50. Keep it simple.
