(Closed) Invited to Two Weddings in 1 Day Dilemma…HELP!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think your idea is perfect. Based on what you describe I would go to Bs wedding and take A out for a nice dinner with a gift. Explain that B is a lifelong “family” member and you just can’t decline. Maybe you can also spend the morning with A and her girls getting ready.

Post # 4
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

I would also go to B’s wedding. Weddings are more fun when they are less of a hassle to get to and when you know more people.

I went to a wedding of old roommate of mine in college. First I had to fly to the state and then drive 3 hours. Plus, I didn’t know so many people there and it was a 400+ person wedding so I barely saw her. Looking back I wouldn’t do it again.

Post # 5
991 posts
Busy bee

I agree with previous posters 🙂 Definitely go to B’s wedding!

Post # 6
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@peonyinlove:  I think you should go to B’s wedding, not only because it’s easier, but also because you’re more like “family.” This wedding is a shared memory you’ll have not only with this friend, but her family and your own family.

Both my fiance and I have moved around a lot, and we’re inviting a lot of people who our wedding who are similar to your relationship with friend A. People we have really special friendships with, but we don’t get to see them often, and they will likely have to travel and make accommodations if they come to our wedding. We completely understand if none of these friends can make it to our wedding, but we want them to know that we love them and would want them to be there if they could. I don’t think your friend A’s feelings will be hurt, and hopefully you guys can get together another time to celebrate!

Post # 7
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with B. Being recently married myself I can’t believe how many old family friends have wished us well and it is so nice of them to do that!

Also, I’m sure your parents will want you to go to B’s if your families are close.  I would not be offended if I were A.  And I think you wanting to take her and her Fiance out is a lovely idea.

Post # 8
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would go to Bs wedding personally…be around people that you know!

Post # 9
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree – go to B’s wedding.  And, remember – a wedding invitation is just that – an invitation, not a summons!

Your presence at someone’s wedding does NOT define the quality of your friendship or your dedication to them.  It does not defing your love for them.  Your longtime relationship and support does.  If you can’t make a one day party and celebration, that should be no problem at all.  Stop making yourself feel so guilty, you are doing nothing wrong.

Post # 10
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@peonyinlove:  I was in a similar situation to you last year. SO and I had two close friends getting married about an hour away from us on a Saturday. My cousin was getting married the next day. However, my cousin was getting married in Florida, and we lived in Connecticut. In addition, my SO had never met my cousin, most of my family wasn’t going to be there (they are mostly in the Connecticut area as well), and it was on a Sunday, which would have meant taking time off to go. (I was also going to be starting grad school soon so financially it would’ve been tricky to spend the $$ to get to Florida and stay in a hotel). So although she was my cousin, we went to our friends’ wedding instead (and had a blast, I might add). I agree with PPs that going to wedding B sounds like your best bet. It’s less of a hassle to go, and it sounds like you’ll know more people and have a more enjoyable time.

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