(Closed) Invited vs attended: What was your drop-off?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Commenting to follow!

Post # 3
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You should invite the people who love you both and support you both, not for a full house for the sake of it. To answer your question, it really depends. Having many that have to travel will make the numbers drop. The further the travel the more likely for a decline. Crashers depend where the wedding is, the age demographic (I assume a 21 yo is more likely to crash than a 41 yo) and if there is security. Our wedding was in a golf course nestled in a retirement community, no crashers. The people who declined were the ones that had to travel half way across the world. It was not a surprise

Post # 4
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s really hard to guess! How many out of towners? They are the ones most likely not to come. We invited around 145 and 89 RSVPED yesand then 2 people (from separate sides of the fam) got sick last minute and couldn’t make it and one spouse of a good friend couldn’t make it after all which I learned a few weeks before. So it ened up being 86 on the day. I really wish I hadn’t spent so much effort worrying about numbers since in the end we had plenty of “spots”. I wasted a lot of energy stressing over my husband’s list when now I wish I had encouraged him to invite anyone he wanted. Almost all of our declines were out of towners… people who lived within an hour mostly all came except one couple. Be prepared for a couple “shocking” nos. I defintley was blindsided by a few. I guess the tricky part is you don’t really know your numbers until a few weeks before. I think you will DEF be ok inviting 175 for 150. (zero crashers)

Post # 5
329 posts
Helper bee

I intived 168 hoping 150 would show. I had 112 attend =/ 

Post # 6
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m going through a similar thing because I’m expecting a high rate of return but you just can never tell. We’re trying to fill our minimum but not really go much over. It’s a tough needle to thread. We’re hoping the b list helps fill it out but I’d love to give people as much notice as possible since it’s a Friday. 

Post # 7
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Don’t yet know who will show, but I invited 98 – and I’m currently awaiting responses from 5 – but looks like it’s 19 declines so far. I’ve been prepped that some people won’t show on the day.

Post # 8
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We invited 122, had 95 people RSVP “yes” and 97 people showed up – although one couple came for the ceremony and had to leave before the reception. 

And that is with most of our guests coming in from out of town.  Our wedding was in a town about an hour from where we live now, 2 hours from where my family lives, and a plane ride away for most of DH’s guests.  

ETA: a couple of friends who RSVP’d “yes” had family emergencies on the day of – we ended up with more guests than said “yes” because a few people who originally hadn’t planned to bring their kids, did bring their kids (which was ok with me).  

The only real “crashers” were my first cousin and his gf/wife (not sure), but it wasn’t a big deal at all.  I hadn’t invited them because they never sent me their address when I asked for it.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  lindsayE.
Post # 9
6715 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Do not invite people you don’t want there just to fill the crowd.  Also don’t invite more than there is space for.  I’d hate to know a couple was inviting me but basically counting on me (or whoever) not to show up so they could have someone else.  Just invite that person instead.  Then there’s no stress either, when people start sending in their RSVPs.

My rate was about 50% but while we weren’t destination for ourselves, most of our guests had between 900 and 2000 miles to travel, so the low count was of course understandable.

Post # 10
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We invited 130 people, 124 showed.

Post # 11
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We invited 175, and had 90 show up. It was perfect, and while our venue could have accomodated 300, 90 did not look empty.

Post # 12
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We had to cut our guest list down due to budget so weve developed a B list of people we wanted to invite but cant currently. If we get a lot of declines, we’re going to send out invites to our B list. Some might be appalled but it works for us. Plus that list is mostly college friends that wouldn’t be upset about being on it.

Post # 13
325 posts
Helper bee

Its tough to gauge. I think it really depends on how many out of townerd are invited as those are the ones that are toss ups. We are invited about 160 and have about 100 people about 5-6 hours form our wedding on that list so I have no idea what to expect. We are hoping for 120

vintagekitten:  this hits home because I have been stressing over FI’s list (he has a huge family) and they are all out of town. Maybe I should relax a bit!

Post # 14
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We invited 110 (we expected 8 from DH’s side to not come at all though). We had 100 RSVP yes and 98 showed up.

Post # 15
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015 - Gibsons (Chicago - Gold Coast)

They told me that having a downtown Chicago NYE wedding where 65% of my guests required travel and hotels would drop my numbers drastically. So I invited 125 (10 of whome we knew couldn’t come) to my 100 guest wedding. We got 100 YES RSVPs and only 1 person did not show up that day (so 99 invited showed). Because one of the parents falsely assumed we would have 10% not show the day of, they brought 8 additional uninvited guests and we ended up with 107 total. I was also told that many guests don’t attend the ceremony or would likely be late with the traffic, on a Thursday and a holiday… so we planned for 90 seats at our 15 minute ceremony. They had to bring in 17 more seats because EVERYONE showed up and showed on time. NOt typical for what I hear but luckily we were able to accomodate.

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