(Closed) Invited, yet we’ve never met.

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

An invitation is not a summons so you can decline if you don’t want to go. A card and small gift would be a nice gesture, but not required. Unless I was going to know other people there or Future Mother-In-Law specifically asked me to go I would probably decline.

Post # 4
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was also under the impression that showers were for close family and friends.  However, you may want to ask Future Mother-In-Law before straight declining.  I sense that the FMILs of both you and the other bride discussed and decided that you should be invited.

Post # 5
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was also under the impression that showers were for close family and friends.  However, you may want to ask Future Mother-In-Law before straight declining.  I sense that the FMILs of both you and the other bride discussed and decided that you should be invited, probablly a “oh do you want your FDIL to come/can my  FDIL come?” sort of thing.

Post # 8
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

First of all sorry for posting twice, my internet connection is bad tonight.

Maybe it could be a nice bonding moment for you and FMIL?  But if you dont want to go, mountain bride is right, it isn’t manditory.

Post # 9
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think it’s a nice gesture of them…I wouldn’t read into it too much.  Sure, you don’t HAVE to go, but I think you should if you can.  😉

Post # 10
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Thats sweet of them to invite! also a little weird i dont think i would go.

Post # 11
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

If you’re invited to the wedding, then you’re usually invited to the shower! At least that’s been my experience.

It may be a little weird, but it could be nice too! If these people are close to your Future Mother-In-Law & your soon to be family, it wouldn’t hurt to get to know them a little better! Not to mention, you’d also know some people at the upcoming wedding. 🙂

If this were my FMIL’s best friend’s soon to be DIL (oh my!) I’d go just to stay in my FMIL’s good books! Mom’s always remember the weirdest little things like this…

Post # 12
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are going through this right now.  We don’t want anyone to feel not included so there are a lot of women invited to the shower.  I would talk to your Future Mother-In-Law and see what she thinks.  Maybe say something like, Hey, I have some plans that day, and I could move them if you wanted me to be there, but if its no big deal, I will just send a card. 

Post # 13
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think a lot of people aren’t sure who to invite to what – and some people err on the side of including everyone and some make an arbitrary cut off, like we invited local people and relatives and my close friends (but didn’t really expect the ones from far away to attend, and I kinda felt bad for inviting them because then they had to decline but they are my good friends so I didn’t want to not invite them…….).  Anywho, point is go if you want to go but I don’t think anyones going to track you down to see if your excuse is valid if you don’t want to go.  It’s just an invite.  And only two people who couldn’t make it sent a shower gift or card, and that was only because it was my college roommates and they wanted to make sure there was opening of lingerie.

Post # 14
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think it’s more thank okay if you graciously decline the shower.  My bridal shower is coming up in a few weeks.  I invited most of the women on the guest list, but I didn’t invite any ladies I didn’t personally know.  I think my Fiance mom would like all the ladies there since she knows them all but I feel like inviting people you don’t know is like a handout for a gift.   

Post # 15
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i invited some of my mil’s friends to my shower who i’ve never met. i asked her who i should invite to the shower from their side and she gave me a list, i didn’t want to say no, i’m not going to invite these people, and i figured it would be nice to actually know them before the wedding and unlike a wedding where you get to talk to them for two seconds you will get to spend time with them and get to know them. maybe that’s what they were thinking?

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