(Closed) Invites arrived! Should I include anything else?

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Not directed at the OP, but in general I would also omit any mention of how to dress… especially to say that something is “required.” Guests can figure it out by the day, time, and formality of the venue. And it’s not really required, is it? I’m sure you wouldn’t turn away guests who were not dressed formally.

Post # 17
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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sweetb77 :  I left them at the front desks. Sometimes hotels want to charge you if they deliver them to the guests’ rooms, but they were all happy to have them at the front desk for free and everyone received theirs.

Post # 18
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

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sweetb77 :  We also left ours with the front desk and everyone got one! And our hotel had 3 other weddings with another welcome bag, and they rocked it! We had to take them to 2 different hotels. It’s not terrible, but maybe someone else can drop them off if you’re really busy or stressed out? Here is what our card in there looked like: 

Post # 20
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

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julies1949 :  I specifcally stated in my follow up that 60% of my guests will not visit my wedding website as they do not use the internet. Also with a very large guest list – word of mouth would be very compelx and difficult to get to all those that would require it that way. Hence me asking how else you include this information.

mimivac :  I have a number of guests coming from very rural areas that think it is completely acceptably to wear flip flops to a wedding. Legit I had someone ask me if it was OK to wear CROCS to my wedding. Thats why I have formal attire required on my details card.

Post # 21
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

gunnabamissus :  People are uptight. I think your details insert was fine, like honestly what the hell is the actual difference between providing the registry info on a website VS a details card, or adding the dress code to the website VS a details card… either way you’re telling people you want gifts and you’re telling them how you’d like them to dress. 

OP I think gift bags are a fine idea, I also think a details card providing the info is a fine idea as well. Most basic wedding sites are free so you could create one, even if some of the older crowd won’t visit it. You can provide a lot more details as far as things to do for your younger crowd.

Post # 22
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

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futuremrs2020 :  Thank you! I worked so hard on my inserts for weeks looking over every little detail to make sure I wasn’t being offensive and catering specifically to my crowd! So I appreciate your kind words!!

Post # 23
Member
13243 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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sweetb77 :  I know you didn’t mention registry info. My comments and others were aimed at the example provided and your response to it. 

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gunnabamissus : These days a simple google of your name or names and the word “registry” almost always does the trick. 

If not, and you have no website, as jules says, it’s done the same way it was for decades. It’s up to your guests to ask someone close to you for your registry info, if any. It is neither difficult nor complex, especially considering how many people are invited as couples or families. On top of that your family will likely ask your side and his will ask his side.

And if not? Gifts are up to the giver. Guests are more than capable of picking something out on their own or writing a check. Invitations should extend hospitality, not mention anything about gifts. I preferred no registry at all, and people managed just fine.

Post # 24
Member
13243 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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futuremrs2020 :  Traditional etiquette disapproves all registries as gift grabs and might even agree there is little difference. However, it is commonly accepted that a third party website is considered to be enough of an “arm’s length” communication format.

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gunnabamissus: Unfortunately, this is really not a case of “know your crowd.”  Anyone who knows anything about etiquette will side eye any mention of gifts. The problem is, you are not a mind reader and no one who loves you will tell you after the fact. 

 

Post # 25
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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weddingmaven :  I know you love traditional ettiquette and informing everyone on this site about it when they don’t follow it to a T, but it’s 2019, times have changed. It sounds exhausting to take everything, such as a registry and how to tell people about it so serious. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Post # 26
Member
13243 posts
Honey Beekeeper

They haven’t changed as much as you seem to think. Guests in 2019 still don’t want to be seen as an open wallet. 

Post # 27
Member
2525 posts
Sugar bee

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sweetb77 :  Definitely just leave your welcome bags at the front desk, and provide them the names of the guests so they can add a note on the reservation screen. Also put their full name on the outside of the bag.

Most hotels will charge to deliver them to the guest rooms. Worse yet – if they place the bag in the room prior to the guest arrival and the room is changed for some reason, they may never get the bag at all. Some random guest will be happy though 😉

Post # 28
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I know about traditional etiquette but I think it is disingenuous to pretend that gifts at a wedding are not the norm and to act like they aren’t expected. I think it is fine to put registry details on the insert and most guests want this and appreciate knowing what the bride wants. The time where a coy whisper into Aunt Mary’s ear about wanting certain gifts and hoping she’ll pass it on is OVER.

 

Post # 29
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

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sweetb77 :  We did some local favorites for snacks as well as some water and some “hangover kits”. We did:

2 bottles of water

Bag of chips from a local company

Coffee from a local shop

Gooey butter cake (St. Louis specialty !) 

Kleenex

Hand sanitizer

Mints 

Pepto Bismol tablets

Aspirin

Advil 

Originally we were going to include some band aids and other things, but we actually put together a box in each bathroom that had band aids, mints, hairspray, bobby pins, safety pins, tampons, pads, deodorant, etc. They were a big hit and a lot of people used them! 

Post # 30
Member
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

Your info card is not offensive to me at all. In fact, I think it’s helpful you got your registry info. I have received wedding invites with 1/3 having mentioned registry and about 2/3 none. I guess I just know too many gift grabby people.  I get that some guests won’t bother looking into wedding websites. Having said that, this website is very sensitive when gifts are mentioned. However, the weddingbees also does not represent the real people out there. 

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gunnabamissus :  

The topic ‘Invites arrived! Should I include anything else?’ is closed to new replies.

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