(Closed) Invites, batches – how soon can we send them?!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this a dumb idea?

    Nope, sounds smart to me!

    Yes, send them out nearer the time and accept that you won't be able to fill all the seats

    Yes, and here's why....

  • Post # 3
    4350 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Spideykiss:  Is the RSVP date printed on the invitations? Will those in later batches find out they were in a later batch?

    Personally, I would only send out one batch to those you can accomodate. If that means you can’t invite friends then don’t invite friends or find a larger venue.

    Post # 4
    3312 posts
    Sugar bee

    It is a bad idea.

    #1 SO much can change between now and then, changes in work, finances, availability of babysitters etc., make any replies you get now a best guess, and cannot be used to actually invite other people. 

    #2.  It supposes that your event is THE most important event to extended family and friends that they would be willing to decline every other invite between now and the actual date.  Even if that meant missing lunch with the Queen, or meeting their idol, because they had already RSVP’d to you, months out of time.

    #3 Dealing with 3 different RSVP dates, managing the follow up, sounds awful to me. 

    #4 People are bound to find out there are differing dates and invites, which could cause hurt feelings.  Guests should never think they were anything but your first choice.

    Post # 5
    1561 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    View original reply
    @andielovesj:  This.  If you sent me an invit in January with a 6 week RSVP for an August wedding, I would have no clue how to respond accurately.  I would go with ONE batch of invites in May/June, and then fill in from the list who didn’t make it on the first cut if you need to. 

    Post # 6
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

    @Spideykiss:  I think this is a decent idea, but that you should start the process closer to the wedding. We did something similar where we got more nos that we thought we would and ended up sending out another batch with the RSVP 2 weeks before the wedding (make it earlier than that so they have time). I’d say 3-4 months out is a good time to start the batches. Since all your guests have to travel at least 2 hours, did you send Save the Dates? If you didn’t, then I think it may actually be a good idea to send the invites sooner rather than later.

    Post # 10
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

    View original reply
    @Spideykiss:  That’s the same reason we didn’t use them. Just plain old never heard of them and no one would understand them at all around here!

    Post # 11
    9808 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I honestly think January is too early.  I think you could maybe send them out late April/May 1 at the earliest (or 3-4 months before your wedding).  Maybe put the RSVP date in mid-June.  Then send out the others after that.

    Or you could use the same RSVP date for all, and send some out early in May (to group 1) and once you start getting some No’s back go ahead and send out the corresponding invites for the second group.  But this depends on how prompt people are….

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