(Closed) Invites Rant

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I can see why you don’t want to invite them, but from your Dad’s perspective I could definitely see why he would be upset. My dad’s family is much smaller than my mom’s and my DH’s, so we made an extra effort to invite people from his side, even though we are not close to them at all, so that we would be including all sides of the family in the wedding.

If you can afford it I would invite them, especially since you are inviting aunts and uncles from all of the other sides of the family.

Post # 5
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

That is great that you got your invitations out. woo hoo… one more step closer… as for your situation, I agree with you, if you barely even know these people I would say no to inviting them. The way I see it, if you made an effort to be in my life and I saw you more then 2- 3 times then you are invitied. You may upset your dad a little bit but it is YOUR day not his…

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am usually on the “invite whomever you want, it’s your wedding” side, but in this case, I would extend the invites to your aunt and uncle. If these are the only people on your dad’s side, why not invite them…especially since…in your words, you invited everyone on your moms side. That’s some serious inequality there. 

Post # 9
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d invite them too. No one ever gets 100% attendence anyway, so I’m sure you’ll have room. They might not come anyway, but you’ll be making your Dad happy.

Just saw your last post about the prison time…..it MIGHT change my mind a little,then! Surprised

Post # 10
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@M.Ruder: I would think of it as a way to try to bridge that gap. While your father’s family could have made more of an effort to see you when you were a child, now that you are an adult, how much of an effort have YOU made to include them in your life?

I also see my mom’s side more…mainly b/c she has mostly sisters and they like to get together and talk. My dad is not really a get together and talk kind of guy so we didn’t see his side as much growing up. However, he always kept them updated on what we were doing, and the few times that we do see them…they know everything that is going on with us. 

All of that was to say…not seeing does not equal not caring about you and your well-being. 

The decision of course is yours…but it does seem unequal to me that you would invite all of your mom’s family, but none of your dads.

ETA: Now threat of violence is definitely a reason not to invite

Post # 11
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Holy cow!  I think not inviting convicted knife wielders to your wedding is completely okay!

I was originally say you should invite them for equality’s sake, but THAT’s a different bird altogether!

Post # 12
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

There were some people that I felt strongly about not inviting because I didn’t know them very well….even if they were family.  At the end of the day I wasn’t going to stress about it and just surrendered to my mom and grandma and invited them.  They declined but still I understand your principle but think about if it really is worth hurting your dad’s feelings.

Post # 14
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I completely understand and agree with how you handled the situation – you were right for holding your ground. Your dad may be hurt about it now, but hopefully he’ll understand your reasoning in the future. We’ve had to do the same thing and so far it has worked out well, so I think it’s good that you’re standing up for what you want 🙂

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