(Closed) Invites to Friends that are Roommates

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How would you invite 3 close friends sharing a house
    Separate Invite to each person--they are their own persons afterall, not kids anymore. : (21 votes)
    70 %
    All on one invite--it's silly to send them in triplicate : (7 votes)
    23 %
    Other--i'll tell you about my awesome idea in the comments : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee

    I know it seems wasteful, but I would send a separate one to each roommate incase they want to save it. Although, they did tell you it was fine to send the Save the Date with all three on one, so they would probably not mind if the invites were done the same way.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    When I sent save the dates I did one per household, I didn’t worry about etiquette or whatever. 

    But for invites – I am definitely doing one for each couple or person over 18.  Partly because it’s ‘right’ but mostly because the logistics of a bunch of people trying to fill out and send back one RSVP don’t seem very good.

    Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    941 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I voted for 3 separate, though honestly that was before I read the paragraph.  I’d say, since they came forward with saying one save the date is okay, it seems like it opens the door to ask about sending one invite to all.  πŸ™‚  

    I think the environmental consciouness is a good reason to send one invite, especially if they’re okay with that.  I’d ask though πŸ™‚

    Post # 6
    Member
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    It sounds like they are 3 guys. I really can’t see three men even thinking twice about getting just one invite.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I personally would send three separate, but that doesn’t make me “right.” It’s just what I would do. Just do what you think is right based on how well you know the guys. πŸ™‚

    Post # 8
    Member
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Well I clicked “Send three” before I finished reading, if it is 3 guys (who I am assuming are in their 20’s or 30’s since they all live together pardon me if I’m wrong) there is about zero chance they all want to save an invite so I don’t see an issue sending one. But a lot of that would be about how well you know them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I say send one, the only issue I see is guests. I think people sometimes assume that a separate invite means them personally + a guest, while one invite to all 3 might imply that guests are not expected, unless you put something like “6 seats have been reserved”.

    Post # 10
    Member
    724 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Are they not allowed to bring guests? If they are, then they deserve their own invitation addressed to them. As roommates, they aren’t tied to each other and so I think they deserve their own invitations which they can respond to. It might seem wasteful but I think it might cause headaches otherwise.

    One save the date can definitely be sent because it’s not something they have to respond to.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I say send one, the only issue I see is guests. I think people sometimes assume that a separate invite means them personally + a guest, while one invite to all 3 might imply that guests are not expected, unless you put something like “6 seats have been reserved”.

    Post # 13
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted “other”. I think it depends on the roommates. I would send separate invites if you think that the recipients will attach any sentimental value to the invite and might want to keep it. I used to room with one of my friends. We were both big into scrapbooking and it would have sucked to split an invite, because I know we would both have wanted to keep it.

    In this case, however, you mentioned that they are all men. Usually men are a little less sentimental about keeping invites/cards/etc. In that case, I think one invite would be just fine. They’d probably actually get a kick out of “the men of…” 

    Post # 14
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    they are boys! they don’t care–just send them one πŸ™‚

    Post # 15
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Is it sexist to agree that if they are men, send them just one, but if they are women, send each their own πŸ™‚ I would bet good money that three guys wouldn’t care at all about having the same invite, and might even think you’re crazy for sending them separate ones.

    We are having some weird situations where one house is getting three separate invitations, because the house has two parents, two adult children, and a girlfriend to be invited. I don’t think the girlfriend lives with the family, but it felt ridiculous to send four invitations to five people.

    Also, I was assuming these are three single friends with no +1’s? We have a couple of friends who are roommates, but one of them has a girlfriend, so we are sending each roommate their own invitation.

    Post # 16
    Member
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We have run into this situation allot but, i think each guest deserves there own invitation. We even gave one to our room mate who rents our basement. I think it’s just etiquette.

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