(Closed) Invites to the rehersal dinner who gets to come?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We are holding firm with our rehearsal dinner invites – the wedding party (and their significant others), parents, and grandparents. We have not gotten any grumbles from other family members not invited… well not yet, anyway (fingers crossed). We are not making the rehearsal dinner a big deal anyway.. that’s what the wedding day is for! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We just did the wedding party and all of our parents. It was an informal dinner where we decorated for the reception too. I don’t think anybody had any problems with not being invited. We had a low budget wedding so this helped keep with the informal theme we had.

Post # 5
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My Future Mother-In-Law is paying for the rehearsal, so I’m absolutely sure that there will be many more people in attendance in addition to our bridal party, parents, and anyone else involved. There will be many Out of Town family members and friends from FI’s guest list, and I’m sure she’ll extend the invitation to each and everyone of them, as well as any of her family and friends that are not Out of Town.  This is serving as a bit more of a reunion than a rehearsal dinner, and, honestly, it’s not such a big deal to me.  She’s paying, so if she wants to pay for everyone to attend, then I’m fine with that.  

Post # 6
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

To have a rehearsal dinner, the people involved in the wedding rehearsal should be invited.  Also, Out of Town guests are often included because they went through a little more trouble to get to your wedding, and so they don’t have to fend for themselves ina n unfamiliar city.  But no aunts and uncles should feel the expectation to be invited.  They were probably invited to another niece/nephews rehearsal dinner before.

It would be uncomfortable to invite peole to an event someone else is paying.  So I agree with you there.   Maybe your mom can smooth things over? I’m guessing she’s the one they’re complaining to.

Post # 7
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We have a very large extended family, so if we invited every aunt, uncle, and cousin, the rehearsal dinner would be 100+ people.  That said, we are only inviting the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner. 

I don’t know how late your rehearsal dinner will go, but ours is ending fairly early.  So, after the dinner I’ll be saying goodnight to my fiance and going to visit with my relatives who were not invited to the dinner.  (One of my aunts is having all the family over to her house that night.)  If you have time, maybe you could do something along those lines to help soothe the waters?

Post # 8
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

we will only be inviting our parents, bridal party, grandparents, his sister and her boyfriend, and one of my aunts. we don’t really see the need to invite more people and we didn’t want the rehearsal dinner to involve so many people that it’s like another reception. 

Post # 9
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My family havent said anything to me about it.

Post # 10
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We are trying to keep the rehearsal dinner to strictly wedding party and immediate family. My mother seems to think it should be a reunion time for her friends, so she has been inviting people. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing except my Fiance and I are paying for everything, including the rehearsal dinner, and are on an extremely limited budget. I think it largely depends on who is paying. If your inlaws are paying, they are the ones who should be in charge of who is invited and who isn’t. We are planning an informal meet up for anyone who wants to come after the rehearsal dinner. Maybe you could do that?

Post # 11
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We are doing everyone that will be involved in the actual ceremony rehearsal! It would be kind insulting to not invite everyone that is involved with the ceremony rehearsal! We have a large bridal party also so our Reheasal dinner is around 60-70 people.  So we aren’t inviting any Out of Town guests.

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