Invites to young adults still living with parents?

posted 12 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d send one per household because there’s no need to send more. I however would put individual names on it, so parents and young adult so they know they are definitely invited too and not just a token gesture as they are still living at home

Post # 3
Member
7732 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

When I got married my four adult cousins still lived with my aunt and uncle. I know it is improper etiquette, but I was not about to send 5 separate invitations to one household. 

Post # 4
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think it’s silly to send multiple save the dates to one household, so I would only send one.  But as mentioned I would put their names individually on it.

Post # 5
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I actually addressed my save-the-dates just like I would the invitations, so I did send separate save-the-dates to young adults still living with their parents. At the same time, though, I didn’t have any situations where we had multiple young adults in the same household, so it maybe amounted to a handful of extra save-the-dates. I also made sure that young adults received their own invitations.

Post # 6
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

Etiquette says any guest over 18 gets their own invitation/Save the Date. I don’t think most people would be offended if you sent only one addressed to the whole family. I sent separate invitations for all of my cousins over 18 because I was inviting them with guests and wanted to make that clear on the envelopes.

Post # 7
Member
3593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

fourthnoel :  save the dates are informal and optional. you can just send one per household. invitations, on the other hand, are formal and should be sent per adult/couple.

bostonbee2018 :  actually, etiquette doesn’t say anything about save the dates, as they are a relatively recent phenomenon and totally optional and informal. the only thing etiquette has to say it that any sort of pre-wedding parties or announcements should only be sent to those who are actually invited to the wedding – so as long as OP isn’t sending any Save-The-Date Cards to uninvited guests, she’s in the clear.

Post # 8
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

If all the members of that household are being invited, I’d say go ahead and save yourself the $$ by putting them all on one invitation.

You can clarify that it is for all of them by including “__ of 4 will be attending” or something like that on the RSVP.  Or you can address them all by name on the invitation “John, Susan, Anthony and Kelly Smith”

Post # 9
Member
2407 posts
Buzzing bee

I vote for seperate as it makes it so much more clear who actually is included in the invitation.  

Post # 10
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

catskillsinjune :  True, Save the Dates are informal and don’t require the same etiquette. I used the same list for the invitations and Save the Dates for convenience and clarity.

I thought it was best to make known when the Save the Dates went out who was and wasn’t invited. A few years ago my cousin, who was 19 at the time and had a boyfriend for a year, received a Save the Date to a family wedding that was just addressed to the family in general. She felt super awkward about asking the bride if her boyfriend was or wasn’t invited but needed to know so she could make travel plans for him if he was invited.

So to clarify, invitation etiquette is everyone over 18 gets their own. It’s more loose with Save the Dates but you might want to stick to the same principle if there is going to be confusion over who’s invited. 

Post # 12
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I agree with everyone saying send 1 STD per household. Also, I would probably go on to extend that to 1 invitation/ household (if that’s where they live). If they’re getting a plus one then I feel like they should get their own invitation though because idk how else you’d phrase that on an invite?

Post # 13
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

fourthnoel :  I went with the etiquette thing of sending adults at the same household their own std/invite.  Multiple People asked why and most rsvp’d using just the one card for the householdd ?instead of their separate ones) so in hindsight I wish I’d just sent one per household.  

That’s for the adults in their 20’s.  If I had more independant older adults living with other adults (such as a person looking after their elderly parents) I would have sent them separate ones still. 

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