(Closed) Inviting +1s – How to find out?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Do you have mutual friends who are closer to the friends in question? Perhaps they might know if “Sally” or “Joe” are still single or if they are in relationships. Thinking about it from the flip side, I think I would be a bit put off if a friend called me up and asked about the status of my love life for no other reason than to make me come to their wedding alone if I didn’t have someone! (Not that I’m saying your friends would do this – I’m just an emotionally charged person). 🙂

I’d try the mutual friends route…and maybe FB stalk or something!

Post # 4
131 posts
Blushing bee

I would try searching them on Facebook maybe they have their relationship listed in the info part. 


Post # 5
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

send them a Facebook message or call.

Post # 6
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I asked a mutual friend.  If they didn’t know for sure, I bit the bullet and directly asked them.  (It was largely DH’s friends, mine I all knew their dating status.)  I was once invited as “and guest” by someone who knew me separately as a friend and it really hurt, so I didn’t want to do that to anyone.  We only invited those truly single as “and guest.”

Post # 7
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

If you’ve never met their SO (and therefore don’t know if they’re in a serious relationship) it’s perfectly ok to not put them on the invite– unless they’re married and you don’t know it (doubtful!) then your friends shouldn’t be offended.  

Don’t over think it! 🙂 

Post # 8
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Luckily, all of my guests listed their SO’s on Facebook within their profile. Did you try looking there first?

Post # 9
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

a lot of people don’t necessary list who they are with on FB, just FYI.  I am assuming either you or Fiance are friends with these people on FB.  If you don’t see a lot of Girlfriend or Boyfriend or Best Friend pictures on FB, I think it’s safe to assume they don’t have a steady date. 

If you don’t like to ask, I think it’s okay to send invite to just 1 and then if they want to bring their GF/BF, they will ask for the +1 seat? 

If you want to go thru the troubles then ask them if they are seeing anyone? (I ran into this with a ex-coworker and I decided not to invite her on-and-off plus 1 since I don’t want stranger at my wedding + that person has a drinking problem :P)

Post # 10
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

If you don’t know about/haven’t met someone’s plus one at this point, I think you’re okay with keeping them off the guest list. We kept our plus ones to relationships of a year or more. After we made the guest list (January), we found out that four friends had started dating people- three have already broken up.  

Post # 11
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you can just ask them something like “Hey Bob!  I’m putting the final touches on my wedding invitations and just wanted to see if you were bringing a guest and if so, what is her/his name?”

Something like that is fine, I would think!

Post # 12
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yeah… if they don’t know their guests name by now, they’re probably not worth the ~$100 you’d be stuck paying to meet/possibly never see them again….

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