(Closed) Inviting a friend who recently got married but who you’ve lost touch with?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Well, a wedding isn’t a good time to reconnect with someone. If you want her to be there, invite her. This mutual friend is probably just appalled because you went to hers (although you were a last- minute add in).

You could always invite her, but she may choose to not attend. Whatever you feel is right is what you should do.

Post # 4
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

She only invited you to her wedding to fill space.  If her A list had all RSVPed yes, you wouldn’t have even been at her wedding.  You haven’t seen her in 6 months.  You’re not close.  I don’t see why it’s a debate.  Don’t invite her.

Post # 5
596 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t feel bad not inviting her.  She only invited you because some space opened up and she probably felt indebted to you because you organized a bachelorette party for her.  I think you can do the same – if you end up having the space for her, you can invite her but if not, I think she’ll be understanding.

Post # 7
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Don’t invite her unless you run into the same situation. If it makes you feel better, shoot her an email and explain that you hope she understands, but you are trying to keep your affair small, and since you have lost touch, you may not be able to invite her. I had initially invited (sent a STD) to a high school friend, and then we changed our wedding date (pushed it back a year), and I haven’t talked to him as much recently, and we’re also trying to cut our list down. I emailed him and told him the dilemma and much to my surprise he completely understood because he is going through the same guest list woes. She will likely understand, especially if you explain.

Also, I debated on not inviting a friend I’d lost touch with whose wedding I was IN two years ago. I am only inviting her because we were very close at the time I first started dating my fiance, and because of that, her friendship has significance for me and my fiance. I heard through a mutual friend that she is surprised that I am inviting her because she feels so bad that we have been so out of touch. I think you’d be surprised at home much people understand, especially those who know what it’s like to deal with the infamous "shortening of the list."

Post # 8
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yikes! It’s your wedding. Tell your friend to get over it. 


*sorry* can you tell I’m fed up today with people telling me what I can and can’t do with my guest list? haha 

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