- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
We are in the process of finalizing our guest list, but I’ve got just one nagging issue that I can’t seem to figure out.
Let’s call my friend B. B. and I know each other through work. We’d only known each other for about 9 months when she got married. I think she’s awesome and really like her, and we hung out very occasionally outside work. I did organize a small work bachelorette for her, mostly because she couldn’t afford to invite us all to the wedding but we wanted a way to celebrate with her anyway.
So a few weeks before her wedding, B. finds that fewer people than expected are coming, and she offers us an invite. We weren’t expecting it at all, so we thought it was a sweet gesture and went and enjoyed ourselves a tonne. This was last June. Two weeks later, we got engaged ourselves.
By the end of the summer, B. had moved on to a different job across town. I think she’s awesome and I wish we were better friends, but the truth is that we both are busy and have our own lives, and we haven’t really pursued a friendship. I have seen her for maybe a total of 20 minutes since September. When we drew up our guest list last summer, she and her husband were, of course, on it. But now that we’ve pretty much lost touch, I’m not sure what to do!
On the one hand, she is not easily offended, and I think would not be upset if she were not invited. And it is unlikely that we’ll ever really be good friends. And we’re trying to keep our guest list small, and I feel like if I were to add a few people I’d rather add some closer friends that I was really bummed out not to invite. In addition, this friend is very very close with another former coworker who I’ve also lost touch with, and it would be really rude to invite one without the other. So if I commit to her, I’m committing to an extra 3-4 guests.
On the other hand, it seems to be pretty poor etiquette to not invite someone whose wedding I went to less than a year ago! And what really got to me was that I was going over the guestlist with a friend of mine who is also friends with her, and he was APPALLED at the idea of not inviting her. This is a dude who is normally very mild-mannered and never really objects to much, but he insisted to me that it would be extremely rude not to invite them, and so I found myself a bit stumped!
What would you do in this situation?