(Closed) Inviting a plus 1

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it would be totally acceptable to make an age cutoff like no plus-1 for under 18. Otherwise you can also limit plus-1 to only those engaged/living together/dating more than a year.

Post # 5
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I totally see where you are coming from, but I would be really surprised if any teenagers (or their parents) expected a plus-1. Normally, plus-1 is only given to adults.

Post # 7
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee

@SweetHoneyBee: The best way to do this is (unsurprisingly) the “proper” way — which is (happily!) the way that leaves the most control in the hands of the hostess: you!

Correct formal form is to invite EVERY guest by his or her own name with an invitation sent to the guests own address; and to have only one class of guest, never “real” guests and “plus-one” guests.

For your single guests whom you would like to “feel comfortable” (though it is a sad commentary on modern social skills that people cannot feel comfortable simply socializing with a congenial mix of acquaintances whether or not they have their main squeeze hanging of their arm) you simply call up the guest and ask whether there is someone whom they would like you to invite, and get that person’s name and address. This way, even though they really are a “plus one”, no-one knows that except you and the person who gave you their name.

You simply don’t make that offer to your thirteen-year-old cousins. They can’t complain, because nobody else got a “plus one” either.

Post # 8
Member
12976 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are only doing +1s for older adults (single aunts/uncles) and our bridal party, or people who are in serious relationships.  If someone isn’t seriously dating someone, I don’t want a random person at my wedding.  I told one of my close single friends about this, and she thought it was a great idea, and said it’s weird to ask random people as dates to weddings, anyway!

Post # 9
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We’re trying to keep our numbers down, as we already have 180+ on the guest list!  And that only includes partners that I know and can name.  So many of my single friends will not be recieving a plus one – but luckily they should all know at least a few other people there so they won’t have any problem socialising.

Post # 10
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

What were doing is sending an invitation to everyone we’ve invited (similar to what @aspasia475: said).  We’re not inviting anyone under 18, so giving everyone their own invite felt “right” anyway. 

 

Post # 11
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We are extending plus ones to all of our friends (we’re in our 30s) and any older relative (Aunts, uncles).

However, our cousins are only getting a plus one if they are in a serious relationship. 

For us it’s a budget thing and that we don’t want our 18 year old cousins bringing people just for the sake of bringing people.  Our cousins will know A LOT of people there, therefore they do not need a date to feel comfortable or have fun.  Some of our friends will only know a couple of other people there and we feel it’s more important to extend the courtesy to them.

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