Post # 1
So obviously we want to do everything we can to make our guests comfortable and happy. Our parents are putting in a lot of the money for the reception since we are pretty much paying for everything else.
I was curious about extending +1 invites to single people. Obviously we’d want my single adult friends to feel comfortable but we don’t want my 13-17 year old family members bringing their boyfriend/girlfriend of the week to the wedding. 1)Because we have a lot of family and allowing the younger ones to bring dates is super costly. 2) We have a couple of young female cousins who always bring some sort of drama to family events.
I don’t want to be rude though and unkind to anyone. So what’s the best way to go about this? Extend plus 1 to everyone including the younger ones. Not allow anyone to bring a plus 1 or can it be polite to quietly extend a plus one to the older attendees and not the younger ones?
Post # 3
I think it would be totally acceptable to make an age cutoff like no plus-1 for under 18. Otherwise you can also limit plus-1 to only those engaged/living together/dating more than a year.
Post # 4
See that’s what I was thinking. It’s not like I’m picking and choosing friends over family members I don’t like or anything like that. And there really aren’t many +1 we’d have to extend because the majority of our friends and family are married or seriously dating someone who we’d personally invite anyway.
I just don’t know if I’m comfortable with having a bunch of unknown teenagers at our wedding.
And we wouldn’t make a big deal out of it of course.
But I just don’t want to hurt feelings.
Post # 5
I totally see where you are coming from, but I would be really surprised if any teenagers (or their parents) expected a plus-1. Normally, plus-1 is only given to adults.
Post # 6
Well that’s good to know.
Now that it’s time to plan our wedding I’m finding I don’t remember much about the other weddings I’ve been to. lol I think my brain is just too picked with wedding details.
Post # 7
@SweetHoneyBee: The best way to do this is (unsurprisingly) the “proper” way — which is (happily!) the way that leaves the most control in the hands of the hostess: you!
Correct formal form is to invite EVERY guest by his or her own name with an invitation sent to the guests own address; and to have only one class of guest, never “real” guests and “plus-one” guests.
For your single guests whom you would like to “feel comfortable” (though it is a sad commentary on modern social skills that people cannot feel comfortable simply socializing with a congenial mix of acquaintances whether or not they have their main squeeze hanging of their arm) you simply call up the guest and ask whether there is someone whom they would like you to invite, and get that person’s name and address. This way, even though they really are a “plus one”, no-one knows that except you and the person who gave you their name.
You simply don’t make that offer to your thirteen-year-old cousins. They can’t complain, because nobody else got a “plus one” either.
Post # 8
We are only doing +1s for older adults (single aunts/uncles) and our bridal party, or people who are in serious relationships. If someone isn’t seriously dating someone, I don’t want a random person at my wedding. I told one of my close single friends about this, and she thought it was a great idea, and said it’s weird to ask random people as dates to weddings, anyway!
Post # 9
We’re trying to keep our numbers down, as we already have 180+ on the guest list! And that only includes partners that I know and can name. So many of my single friends will not be recieving a plus one – but luckily they should all know at least a few other people there so they won’t have any problem socialising.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
What were doing is sending an invitation to everyone we’ve invited (similar to what @aspasia475: said). We’re not inviting anyone under 18, so giving everyone their own invite felt “right” anyway.
Post # 11
We are extending plus ones to all of our friends (we’re in our 30s) and any older relative (Aunts, uncles).
However, our cousins are only getting a plus one if they are in a serious relationship.
For us it’s a budget thing and that we don’t want our 18 year old cousins bringing people just for the sake of bringing people. Our cousins will know A LOT of people there, therefore they do not need a date to feel comfortable or have fun. Some of our friends will only know a couple of other people there and we feel it’s more important to extend the courtesy to them.