(Closed) Inviting an ex???

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Is he still in regular contact with the family? Would it literally be like inviting everyone but him? I suppose it depends on the situation and how close everyone is.

I think it’s quite obvious the reason you are not inviting him and they know the background, and if they did say anything – just say that you didn’t feel comfortable having ex’s at the wedding. I think it’s a reasonable request.

Post # 7
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Does he still live with them? If not, I don’t think it’s a problem. They know you dated & broke up. He knows what he did wrong. Don’t worry too much about it. 

Had I gotten married before my mother died I would have had the same problem. I dated her best friend’s son for several years and had a bad breakup due to his behavior. My mom & his mom were best friends for 30 years and our families would go vacationing together. So… it would have been difficult. Still… since he moved out I would have had NO problem sending an invite to Mom’s BFF, Mr. BFF & Little brother BFF. 

Post # 8
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If someone is an adult I think its proper etiquette to send them their own separate invitation. My Fiance has a couple of cousins that are in college, but don’t live at home anymore, so we sent them separate invites from their parents’. I would just send it to the family and not include his name. Its not as if he is a minor living with his parents. I’m sure his family will also understand that he is one of your exs and this is your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mm13:  just invite the parents?

Post # 10
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly I wouldn’t.  I was a foster youth also.  Also had a supportive (kind of manipulative) relationship with an ex and his parents who I lived with for awhile.

While they supported me in many ways it just isn’t the time to deal with seeing these people…and it will undoubtedly bring up some emotions for everyone involved.

I heard nothing about ex’s engagement or wedding…except through mutual facebook friends…though his mom facebook friend requested me and leaves me crazy messages now and then.  I know she cares a lot.  But nope…for my own sake I am happy to move on to have people who are healthy, supportive, and without baggage on my wedding day. 

I didn’t watch the ex’s wedding video because I’d just rather not know. 

 

Post # 11
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I get that it’s awkward but I’m sure everyone will understand. Espeically if he isn’t living with them. Just address it to them. It will be obvious why he isn’t invited.

Post # 12
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mm13:  Invite them, and not him. I’m sure they and he will understand

Post # 14
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think your ex should understand if he is not invited. More importantly, he may feel uncomfortable even attending. I’m sure his SO other would! if you are close to the family, could you run it by them?

Post # 15
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@mm13:  good choice.

 

I didn’t invite my husband’s ex, even though everyone in our circile is really close with her, I even happen to like her, his parents are friendly with her etc. 

 

It didn’t seem appropriate for the both of us, for her to be there, and she totally understood. No hard feelings!

Post # 16
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@lifegirl:  +1

(just invite the parents) 

 

We had family friends growing up (the parents are still friends) but when making my wedding invite list I really only wanted to invite the older to (as they were the ones I played with as a kid and occasionally run into now) but together with my mom it wouldn’t be appropriate to leave the youngest daughter off, so we’re just invited the parents since my parents see them regularly.

 

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