(Closed) Inviting before invites…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

People can’t plan that far ahead that is the point of invitations.

I understand your thought process but it will be better to make your guest list of who you WANT to share your day with you – not who you will think will come. They will have a way better chance of knowing if they can make it 2 months out rather than 8 months out!

Post # 4
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think you should def. have an “a” list and a “b” list. Wait until the invites send out the “a” list of the family and friends you can pretty much guarantee will be there, and see if you get any no rsvps then select people from your “b” list to invites if you still have some room to keep you number at 100

Post # 5
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with pp. There is a process to these things for a reason. You invite and make the RSVP date about 1 month in advance. that is close enough that people can actually plan. If you’re concerned about inviting too many or not enough, have a B list going and make your RSVP date a little sooner (like 6 weeks max prob). 

Post # 6
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Most people have no idea what they’re doing 7 mos from now and A LOT can change (finances, jobs, moving etc).

That’s the point of sending invites so people can let you know when it’s actually close if they would be able to make it.

Post # 7
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with the others, most people don’t plan out that far ahead. 

Unless they’re actors, musicians, politicians, doctors, or have a job where they have to put in a request for the time off WAY before the date (hospitals, some institutions, etc), I’d wait until the usual time. 

Our wedding guests will involve a LOT of actors (one FX friend is going to Canada for a year, another is labeled as the “First Black Scream Queen” and gets TONS of requests/job proposals and goes to conventions, too), musicians (one group is thinking of touring GERMANY!!!), and a few who live pretty far away and would have to arrange airfare, so we’ll be informing them months before the April wedding.

If you have friends and family coming from across country or the world, I wouldn’t worry too much.  UNLES they work at a hospital (or anything like that), then you might want to give them an extra month so they can put in for the time off.  Or even ask them when they have to know so they can request the day off.

Post # 9
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

we had some close friends who said they would be there, then rsvp’d no. you never know!

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