(Closed) Inviting co-workers

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which co-workers should I invite to the wedding?
    Just the one girl that you are closest to. Everyone else will understand why they werent invited. : (22 votes)
    46 %
    Invite them all!! The more the merrier!! (And some of them might not even be able to make it) : (12 votes)
    25 %
    Pick 2 or 3 that you are closest with and leave it at that. : (10 votes)
    21 %
    Other- explain below. : (4 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    There are a few people who in other departments that I am friends with that will be invited. I’m not super close to the team I work on (got a promotion to a different department back in June), but since we work so closely to one another, I am inviting all four of them. However, I only really expect one of the four to actually go (and I’m okay with that).

    Post # 5
    Member
    317 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My work place is huge and everyone is closed off in their offices to hide lol. My job is generally independant so there’s little coworker interaction, so I’m only invited my closest coworker friends.

    However, if my area was small and had a high interaction with the coworkers, I would invite them all on a B-List. If you can’t accomodate then invite the one girl.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We’ve got six people in my department and I am/was really only close with one.  I personally don’t care for the others.  But I can’t justify having to work with them knowing they know they aren’t invited.  It’s a one-way not liking relationship with them.

    I had to invite them because i really wanted my close co-worker there.

    Post # 7
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I’d either just invite the one girl, or invite the 6/7 ladies but definitely not their husbands!!! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee

    Wow, do NOT invite all of them w/out husbands! That is about as rude as rude can get. Boyfriends they don’t live with might be one thing, but if they are married and you invite them, you should definitely invite their spouse.

    Post # 9
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    i disagree twentyeleven.. weddings are expensive and should be personal for the bride and groom.  if this person hardly cares for the work colleagues, they more than likely probably don’t even know the spouses.  Work colleagues all know each other and would be happy talking.  Surely people are mature enough to not need their spouse to hold their hand at all times. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    I’m on both sides of this as a bride to be and as a coworker of someone who is getting married as well.  Our office consists of about 15 ladies.  My coworker invited all but 4 of us (yes, I was one who wasn’t invited).  We get along great (or so I thought, lol) but I wouldn’t say I’m close with her (we’ve never hung out outside of work but the same goes for the rest of us, too) but nonetheless it still stings quite a bit.  It’s caused a bit of a rift in the office, for sure.  We all smile and are cordial with one another but you can tell that there is definitely tension.  It’s just weird because NO one talks about her wedding for fear of upsetting those of us who aren’t invited.  It’s just very awkward.  For this and other reasons, I decided long ago that I will not invite anyone from my office because I simply don’t have room for them all and I think it’s rude to pick and choose.  That’s just me…  My other coworker was married 2 years ago and invited the entire office but only included their guests if they were married (boyfriends or others were not included) and this seemed appropriate to me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee

    I definitely agree that weddings are expensive, and yes should be personal for the bride/groom. However it’s plain old etiquette to invite the spouse. They certainly don’t have to bring the husband/wife with them and that’s okay, but they should at least be extended an invite. To do otherwise IS rude. Invite who you can afford, or who you want there. Don’t exclude someone’s spouse though. If it weren’t a big deal, it wouldn’t be a huge no-no, and this doesn’t only go for weddings. Weddings are romantic and many people actually enjoy going to them as a couple anyway, it’s a nice experience.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1280 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would love love love to invite my co-workers to the wedding but we don’t have the money. I’m friendly with a lot of people, so even I was able to afford it, I’d probably only invite max of 5 people (plus one if I knew they were in a serious relationship, married, etc). That said, I work with the person who is designing my invitations (and will prob do it for free), so I’d like to invite him as a thank you.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    My husband and I work in the same office.  We just picked the people that we’re close with.  It wasn’t difficult to decide to invite their spouses, because all the people we invited are people we hang out with outside of work on a regular basis, and know their spouses as well.

    Post # 14
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    completely fine if you can afford to invite their spouses and you know them, but it’s not rude to leave them out for financial reasons or if you’re wanting a more personal guest list.  It might be traditional to invite them, but that’s going back when weddings were less expensive and people probably lived in smaller towns where they knew less people. 

    it is a romantic occasion and most people love to get an invite, but lets be realistic – it’s about the bride and groom, not suiting every work colleague who we may not even really care about., 

    Post # 15
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Sorry but I really think you can’t invite people without their spouses. It’s a little insulting. I’d invite the one girl. Sure someone might have hurt feelings but they can clearly see why you invited the person you’re most friendly with. I will probably invite my co-workers but if I needed to cut the guest list they would totally understand if I only invited my best work friend. If you aren’t inviting all of them I’d tone down the wedding talk around them though.

    Post # 16
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I was/am in a similar boat.  I’m one of 5 total that work in our office.  Myself and the 3 other female coworkers get along great and hang out outside of work often.  Myself and the male coworker are also very friendly and I have used his wife professionally for her business as well, so I know and like both of them.  It was relative no-brainer for me to want to include all of them.  Where things get sticky is then how to NOT invite the boss.  It’s a very small business and the boss keeps pretty close tabs on everything.. so it’s been awkward to include the rest of them but not him.  Honestly, I’m not close to him at all, though, and based on his personal views I’m not sure I’d want him there at my wedding anyway.  I do feel like I need to sit down and let him know that he’s not invited, though, so things don’t get more awkward down the road when he hears that everyone BUT him has been included.  Depending on how close you are with the other ladies in your office I think you should do the same if you end up only inviting the one girl.

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