(Closed) Inviting co-workers etiquette???

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9202 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I think you should just invite the people you want there and ask them to keep it on the DL.  The others will surely find out at some point, but ultimately everyone knows that only close friends get invited to weddings.  The other idea of inviting everyone and having them work it out is good in theory (I think I’m doing this with my ~15 coworkers), but if you don’t think it will work out well in practice, better safe than sorry.

Post # 4
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@pocketfox:  Ugh… that’s a bit of a pickle!

I would probably ask the ones that you’re close to. If anyone has a problem with it, just say that like in every wedding, you have budget concerns. Even if it’s a big wedding, it has to be capped somewhere.

Unless you’re only excluding like 2-3 people of the bunch, I don’t see what’s so bad about asking the people who you’re closest with. I’d feel a bit weird if some of my coworkers invited me to their weddings.

That or don’t invite anyone. I think inviting them all would be the worst option since as you say, someone has to work so you’ll likely wind up with the wrong people at the wedding anyway.

 

Post # 5
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you invite more then just one person you should invite them all. Maybe give them a heads up so the ones you want can request time off first?

Post # 6
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@RoyalLime:  This isn’t a 5 yr olds bday party, she doesn’t have to invite the whole class! haha

OP – While I do see the logic in just inviting everyone, you don’t need to. It’s your wedding, and not everyone can be inviting. Could you try to keep it to just your small group? If not, I would pick and choose (but keep the number small) and ask everyone to please keep it on the DL. Also, speak with those you aren’t inviting – maybe not directly, but as a group say something like “The wedding list has grown because of my parents, I really don’t know how many friends I’ll be able to invite”.

Post # 7
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@JrzyGurl:  No it’s not. But if she wants to avoid drama, especially since it sounds like only one person would be left out, she should invite everyone….

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee

Traditional formal etiquette presumes that ladies and gentlemen maintain a discreet separation between their business affairs and their social relationships. Co-workers are part of your business affairs. In their role as co-workers, they should not be invited to your social events: to do so is disrespectful to their perfectly proper role as business-people.

Of course, you may know people who are both colleagues, and also friends. These you should treat as co-workers in work situations, and as friends in social situations. If you are friends with people who are also co-workers, by all means invite them just as you would any other friend, to whit, with an invitation addressed to them in their own name, including their spouse if they have one, and sent to their own home address.

I am assuming that any such friends are mature and sophisticated ladies and gentlemen, who know better than to talk about their social calendar at work, and who have the common good manners to refrain from mentioning an invitation in front of people who might not have received an invitation. But if you, who know these people better than I do, harbour any doubts on that score you might want to meet them over coffee outside of work and remind them that polite people keep their social life circumspect while at work.

Post # 9
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@pocketfox:  I’d jsut invite the ones you are close to and leave off the others.

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