Post # 1
I have worked at the same company for 15 years. Some of my co-workers have been there as long as I have. We figuratively have watched each others kids grow up although I don’t actually know the kids and only a few have met my daughter. There are 3 or 4 gals that I have socialized with fairly regularly over the years. When I was promoted to manager this became a source of aggrivation for some employees who complain (unjustly) that I “play favorites” with the girls I used to socialize with. In order to avoid this I have really limited the amount of time I hang out with these folks outside of work. While I feel terrible about not inviting them I am afraid that just to invite a few coworkers (out of approximately 50) when I am their boss screams of favoritism. Am I better off to not invite them at all or to invite them and ask them not to discuss the wedding with any coworkers.
Post # 3
I faced this issue with my mom, but for us it was more of an issue that we had more friends/family to invite, and there wasn’t enough space to invite all her co-workers. She asked 3 or 4 couples from her job, and that was that. I think she avoided talking about the wedding (as much as she could), and people understood that it was her daughter’s (my) wedding and that there just wasn’t enough space for everyone when you also factor in the groom’s family, friends, co-workers, and parent’s friends, and the bride’s family, friends, co-workers and her parent’s friends. That being said… if you have the space/money/etc, I don’t see why inviting them all would be an issue. Wish we would have done that! And if people call it playing favorites, there’s just no way around that. They are your friends, and they are the ones you want to invite, and that’s all there is to it.
Post # 4
I would not invite any coworkers as it sounds like they’re not very close to your daughter.
Post # 5
It’s not your wedding. It doesn’t make sense for your coworkers to be invited anyway. Problem solved.
Post # 6
You know, I had a wedding where budget only allowed for so many guests, and since both our parents were helping pay, we allowed them some say in the guest list. At the end of the day I only had 2 friends invited, while our parents had 6 or 7 each. It was kind of annoying. If you want to be a cool mom, don’t add your coworkers to your daughter’s guest list.
Post # 7
In this situation I would not invite your coworkers. My mom has worked at the same school for 15 years and many of her coworkers also watched my sister and I grow up. My mom invited one or two coworkers out of friendship (though none came) and I was surprised she didn’t invite more. I don’t think you need to feel badly about not inviting coworkers you’ve known for a long time since this isn’t your wedding, it’s your daughter’s. And if anyone would have the gall to say something to you the idea that your daughter makes the guest list for her wedding, not you, is an easy explanation.