Inviting Co workers to wedding

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
9452 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

are you friends with any of them outside of work?

i didn’t invite anyone from work.  my husband invited 3 coworkers. 

Post # 3
Member
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Are the people you want to invite co-workers or friends? As in do you socialise with these people outside of work/work events? If the answer is yes, then invite your friends. If the answer is no, then don’t invite co-workers to you small wedding of family and close friends.

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

evening do – here you would invite all 10 to the evening but only the very close ones to the whole day.

Post # 5
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

I work in a small office too & I am struggling with who to invite. While I don’t socialize with my co-workers outside of the office (I am fairly new in my position) I see & interact with them more than most of my friends & family, even my FH so I have developed friendly relationships with a handful of them. I feel like it will need to be an all or nothing situation just to avoid any awkward feelings. But I may be over thinking it (naturally!) because I am newly engaged. 

Post # 6
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

Even in a small office or any environment, it’s pretty much human nature that you bond with some more than others. It’s not something anyone can help and something between your team you will all share and do. In my situation I have one MoH and one bridesmaid who I work with and the rest will be invited to the reception. I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest to be honest – it is YOUR day and as you have already said you are having a small wedding (something I assume your team will already know) then I think they should completely understand that.

This said, you could always organise a nice dinner or night out perhaps pre/post wedding to include everyone so you’re sharing that with them and you’ve taken time to acknowledge that with them. This should well and truly negate any feelings of disillusionment felt by any univited people but I don’t think it’s reasonable for them to expect to be invited. 

Post # 7
Member
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
xraychick01 :  As others have stated, if you are friends that socialise outside of work and not for work – conferences and work lunches do not count- then invite the 3 plus their SOs. No need to invite all 10 plus their SOs. 

A wedding is a time for those family and friends who have supported and encouraged your relationship to celebrate your union. Not a time to party with acquaintances.

Post # 8
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
Twizbe :  

Agreed, personally if I was in the situation I would invite all of them to the evening do and only ones I  was very close to to the day. This is actually a perfect example of why people do evening only invites. 

Post # 10
Member
614 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
xraychick01 :  Are you in the US? If so, I wouldn’t split up the invites between ceremony and reception. It is customary in the UK but not in the US, so some people might find it rude to be invited to one part of the wedding and not the other.

I would just invite the 3 people you are closest with. Co-workers typically understand that weddings are expensive and unless you have a close relationship outside of work, they do not expect to be invited. We invited just one of my husband’s co-workers, who my husband truly considers a friend and spends time with outside of work. No one was offended. 

Post # 11
Member
6935 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
xraychick01 :  I think that advice would only work if you lived in the UK. I’m assuming from your response that you live in the US, right? You can’t really invite people to the reception and not the ceremony in that case. 

Do you hang out with any of these coworkers outside of work?

Post # 12
Member
3317 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Chiming in here to echo the whole “are you actually friends outside of work or not?” question.

I have some co-workers that I am closer with than others, but even the ones I hang out with most I don’t really see much outside of work. We might go for beers once in a while, but that’s about it. So I won’t be inviting any co-workers to our wedding.

My fiancee has one friend who started off as a colleague that will most likely be invited, despite him moving on to a different company earlier this year. They have consistently attended each others’ parties and used to go out for lunch together at least once a week. Basically, they’re not just work friends, they are actually friends. We weren’t sure what was going to happen with that when he left that company, but they have hung out a couple times since so it seems working together wasn’t really all that relevant to them being friends. 

I would only invite co-workers who are actually your friends. Really think about whether you think you will still hang out with them regularly if you are no longer working together. 

Post # 14
Member
13224 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would only invite those you see socially outside of work hours. 

If you are in the US it would be considered very rude to invite the others to only the ceremony or only the reception. 

Post # 15
Member
7843 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it would be very awkward to only invite 3. Honestly, IMO, a wedding isn’t worth jeopordizing your career or start office politics. I would do an all or nothing with such a small office. If you aren’t close with the others they would likely decline, but at least it doesnt come off like favourites. 

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