Post # 1
Soooo I’m having a tough time deciding how to go about inviting co-workers to my wedding next September. We are quite a close knit group and spend so much of our time together through work. We all have a group chat together and are constantly communicating through that as well. I would love for them all to be able to come to the wedding however with the guest list it would just be too many people. The thing is I am closer to a few of them more than the others and I would love for them to be there especially. I just don’t know how I can invite those few without the others. I feel the group chat and time spent at work almost gives a false sense of closeness. While we have all gotten together for bbqs and gatherings outside of work, I talk to the others and see them outside of work more often. I’m torn between inviting the few and possibly hurting the others, inviting none of them but being disappointed to not have the ones I’m close to, or just saying screw it and inviting them all and having a larger and more expensive wedding than I want. ( with all of them it would be like an extra 16-20 people with plus ones) What to do!?
Post # 2
I’d wait and see. Invites should not be sent out until 6-8 weeks prior, anyway. Someone might leave the job. Relationships may change. We may still be under covid restrictions.
If your work group is 8-10 people, and you’re inviting less than half of them, I think that’s ok. Just don’t invite 7 and exclude 1 or something like that.
Post # 3
I agree with pp to wait. Dont tie yourself down to them just yet, considering you have over a year who knows what will happen.
But I disagree on inviting only a few. I think it would be really awkward to invite 4 and NOT invite the other 4. I can 100% understand that youre closer to some, but I wouldnt want to create potential issues where I work. If you work with 50 and want to invite 4, thats one thing. Of course no one is entitled to a wedding invite, but I think with such a small team the exclusion will definitely be obvious.
Post # 4
My suggestion would be leave them all out. But if you do, don’t talk much about your upcoming wedding around the office. No one is entitled to an invite.
Post # 5
There is nothing wrong with only inviting some of your co-workers. We are talking adults here.Everyone knows that weddings are expensive and are not a work related social.
A good general guideline is to only invite those with whom you have a personal relationship outside work. Group BBQ’s and other group gatherings are not a personal relationship. Invite the people you meet for drinks, dinner, activities outside work group, the people you invite to your home, or go to theirs.
You can minimize talk about your wedding at work, and ask those who are invited to be discreet at work.
Post # 6
I only invited two former coworkers to my wedding a few years back. I invited the two I was closest to, and I also invited two current coworkers. Of the 4, only one of the former coworkers came, even though one of the current coworkers I invited I went out with regularly for drinks and we had hung out during off hours, and the other current coworker I had also spent some time with outside of work.
TBH, from this I learned that coworkers are just that. If you don’t hang out with them outside of work, and if work is your only connection, I wouldn’t invite them.
Post # 7
Yeah I guess I do have quite a lot of time before the wedding and a lot can happen in a year so I do have time to wait it out. But yes I hate the potential awkwardness of it all! There are 3 girls and their significant others ( who I also know) that would be the ones I would definitely want there. And other people have said the others I can just invite without a plus one since I have never met them but I don’t like the idea of doing that when I know they have significant others. I don’t know them but still like the courtesy of inviting the plus ones. And then I feel like it’s almost a chain reaction where if I invite “these people” than I have to invite “those people” and if I invite “those people” than I have to invite these other ones. And so on. And then there’s like people who I may not necessarily even like all that much that I feel I would need to invite lol. Ahhhh anyone else having trouble with potential guest list?
Post # 8
I do believe too that if I were to invite the few, I would explain to the others my reasoning prior to the inviting. I wouldn’t just say nothing to them. But yeah, I will give it a bit yet to figure out what to do!
Post # 9
Just an FYI, significant others are not plus ones. They are a social unit and should be invited by name.