Post # 1
So I am inviting my co-workers to my wedding, it puts us a bit over (okay quite a bit over) on where we wanted to be on our guest list but I really really like some of my co-workers, they are lovely and I really want them to be there and they would have a great time. It’s a very small office so I know that it was an “all of nothing” kind of deal with inivtations. I had to invite everyone (even the few people I really don’t want there) or no one. Here’s the problem, I gave out save the dates for the wedding a few months ago. One of the girls was pretty new when I gave her a save the date but I figure since by the time the wedding came around she would have been there almost a year I gave her one anyway. She has since left and been replace with a new employee. I have had no contact with the girl who left since she left 3 months ago, we were not close. But since I gave her a save the date I feel like I should send her an invitation, I do have her address. Will this be weird for her since she no longer works with me and we are not close? It seems like it’s only polite to send it since I already gave her the std card. Then leave it up to her if she wants to rsvp “no”.
Another issue, the new employee, she has been working with me 3 month and it will be 6 months as co-workers by the time of the wedding. Should I invite her? She would be the only person to not get an invite if I did not invite her. It just seems so awkward to not invite her but my fiance thinks I am being nuts inviting so many people out of what feels like obligation. What do you think? Invite both? Just invite the ex-coworker I gave the std card to?
Post # 3
I would have a “crisis” and say that only close friends and family can now be invited, and not invite your coworkers at all. They are your coworkers, not your friends. Unless you hang out with these people on a regular basis outside of work, I don’t think they should come.
Anyway, in real life, just invite the girl. You’re already over your limit anyway, so what’s one more person? That way it won’t be awkward. I would not invite the person who left unless you regularly hang out with her.
Post # 4
I say no to inviting the girl who left. If you haven’t spoken to her since, then she probably won’t be expecting an invite, and even if she were to get in contact with you regarding not getting an invite I think it’s pretty obvious that y’all don’t ever talk, therefore she has no place at your wedding.
Yes, to inviting the new girl. Yes, she’s the new girl and you don’t know her well, but you said above that it’s an everyone or no one thing (which I don’t totally agree with) and she does work there. I think it would be awkward for her on Monday if everyone else had gone and she wasn’t invited.
My .2 cents
Post # 5
@peachacid: LOL a few of them I do hang out with after work which is why I wanted to invite them but I didn’t want it to start drama by just inviting the half I hang out with and not the rest who I do talk to a lot at work but not outside of work much.
You don’t think it’s rude to not send an invitation after I already gave them a save the date?
Post # 6
@caits615: It’s a really small office, there are 7 of us so it would be REALLY awkward not to invite her since we are even closing shop that day for my wedding!! So it was important to me that I invite everyone (now I feel kind of bad since they are actually going to close for my wedding, oops). I think I will invite the new girl, I don’t want her to feel unwelcome.
I wll not invite the girl who left, I have not spoken to her since and I am sure she is aware she was invited as a co-worker.
Post # 7
@breadandbutterflies: I agree – I don’t think you are obligated to send the girl who left an invitation. You will probably never see her again, so why bother?
I work in a small office and I understand the dynamics of a small office. I don’t know about yours, but at mine we are all super close so to me, it’s more like an extended family, not just someone I’m forced to work with. I care about these people and so they are all coming.
The new girl is a different situation, but use your instincts and invite her if you are close enough.
Post # 8
@breadandbutterflies: I do think it’s rude to not invite them after you’ve given them Save-The-Date Cards…lol that sentence could have more than one meaning. Anyway, if you’ve been talking about the wedding a LOT at the office, you can’t get away with not inviting them all.
Post # 9
We had the same problem. Our solution…only invite them to the dance. That way we don’t have to pay for dinner and they still feel like a part of your special day!
Post # 10
For the Old Co-worker: Refer to this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/for-fun-hilariously-passive-aggressive-ways-to-uninvite-someone
New Coworker: Invite her. Nothing is worse than feeling like an outcast, unless you’re Andre 3000
Post # 11
I would invite the new girl. As time passes on, you both may become really close, and the wedding will be a good memory for her and your friendship. Besides, if the entire office is closing shop for your wedding– it will truly make her feel unwelcomed. That’s the perfect thing about the invites, too, just because you’re giving an invitation doesn’t mean they have to accept. So, if she is unable to come, she will politely decline and this will no longer be an issue. But, I am pretty sure she will come and I think it’s a great idea to extend that invitation to her.
As for the previous co-worker, I am 50/50 on this one. Since you gave her a save-the-date, I almost feel like it would be bad manners not to send the invite. But, on the other hand you don’t talk any more. I am 90% sure she wouldn’t show anyway, especially since your other co-workers would be there and it would be akward. But, sending the invite to her anyway shows class and that you are true to your word. You may even get a nice, “congratulations” card back from her and possibly a gift for being so polite. I am 50/50 on that one. Go with your gut. I can be “a little too nice (Southern upbringing)” as well, so if it were me, I’d just send the invite.