(Closed) Inviting coworkers to wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?
    Invite the 4 : (11 votes)
    22 %
    Invite them all : (3 votes)
    6 %
    Don't invite any coworkers : (35 votes)
    69 %
    Other (list below) : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We decided to only invite coworkers that we see and do things with outside of work. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I am inviting the ones I work with directly (about 6 plus their significant others), that have been along for the whole ride. I would hang out with them outside of work (and have with a couple). That’s it though. I don’t think feelings will be hurt if you aren’t especially close with them…people don’t wait around for invites to all their coworkers weddings.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Luvnseptember:  +1. if you aren’t close to them outside of work, don’t invite them, and keep it simple to avoid having anyone feel slighted.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1770 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 1997

    @whitarens:  would post a general notice a few days before your wedding.  Noone is likely to come yet noone will feel left out. I think in your particular situation you can do what you wish. It is unlikely that will be any ramifications for you as you are leaving that school district. If you invite the 4 and not the 5th it will be hurtful.

    For bee’s that are remaining at their jobs, to single out certain coworkers to invite will inevitably cause issues on some level with those coworkers who thought they were valued more than they are and then don’t get an invite.  A hierachy of importance becomes transparent when one coworker gets an invite and one does not….most people would get over it, but it’s doubtful it would be forgotten…

    Post # 7
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @whitarens:  I am inviting coworkers who I work closely with and a couple that I am friends with even though we don’t work in the same department.  I’m also inviting my direct boss (I probably see him more than I do my fiance, lol).  People understand that you can’t invite everyone and I wouldn’t worry about it too much, but I would suggest keeping it to the people that you are closest to personally.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8686 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i’m not inviting any of my co-workers.  3 of them i eat lunch with almost every day and have been here for 4 years.  when one of the boys got engaged last year, i went out to happy hour with them.  his now wife asked me if i would travel to puerto rico for the wedding, i said sure.  then i wasn’t invited.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    9201 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I wouldn’t. You don’t hang out with them besides at school, and you’re about to leave that job. You’ll probably never see them again. 

    I’m inviting all ~15 of my coworkers/bosses and their SOs, but we’re a really close-knot office and I travel with colleagues a ton. Also, the wedding is 3.5 hrs from where we live, so that will cut down on the ones who we aren’t as close with. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee

    Our guest list is so tight at this point that I had to pull all of my co-workers – I had about 8 co-workers on the list.  I would still like to invite 2 but at this point I’ve decided it needs to be all of the 8 or no one.  I’ve worked at my current job for 8 years and have made friendships but with our venue being so small we have to stick with close family and friends.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @whitarens:  Unless you regularly hang out with these people outside of work they are work acquaintances and I don’t see why they need an invitation, especially if you are short on space.

    Post # 14
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @gemgirl6:  For bee’s that are remaining at their jobs, to single out certain coworkers to invite will inevitably cause issues on some level with those coworkers who thought they were valued more than they are and then don’t get an invite.  A hierachy of importance becomes transparent when one coworker gets an invite and one does not….most people would get over it, but it’s doubtful it would be forgotten…

    I think this falls under the category of “brides think that their wedding is something everyone is dying to attend”. 99% of people wouldn’t care if they didn’t already have a close relationship with her.

    Post # 15
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Wait, a general notice a couple weeks before as in: “Hey guys my wedding is XXX XX, 2013, feel free to join us”? If so, that seems worse than not inviting some coworkers…

    Post # 16
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If you are not close to them; don’t invite them.

     

    I am inviting 4 girls from work (in an office of 20). We talk all the time, and do things outside of work. I am close to these girls and would hate to not see them at my wedding.

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