Post # 1
So I have a bit of a dilemma and would love an extra opinion. We are getting married in 7 months and are organising guest lists etc.
I have a friend who I met when I was in Year 6 (end of primary school in Australia) as we were going to the same high school. We were friends throughout high school and then she went to another school, we kept in touch but over the last 5-6 years we have slowly lost touch, probably seeing each other 2 times a year? She is a sweet person but just not really motivated in her life, and her boyfriend is a really negative person. At our engagement party he came up to us and told us that he “couldn’t wait to drink all our alcohol and get pissed at our wedding”. My Fiance was not impressed & doesn’t want him at our wedding, nor her, as he is rubbing off on her.
Since we have gotten engaged, she has been trying to get in contact more and asked to be a Bridesmaid, help out etc.
It’s just really awkward and I can’t see us being friends in the next few years but know she would be upset if she wasn’t invited.
Post # 3
Ok first off I would politely tell her that you are grateful that she wants to help out but you have already chosen your bridesmaids. Second unless she is living with her boyfriend you do not have to invite her bf. unless your friend is married, engaged, or living with this guy then you have no obligation to invite him. As far as your friend goes I can’t give you advice on if you should invite her or not. people surprise you when it comes to lifelong friendships.
Post # 4
@megs24: Here is my feeling on it if somebody’s only reason to come to your wedding is to “drink all your alcohol and get pissed at your wedding” then you should absolutely NOT invite them. (I’m super offended for you by this comment)
If this means you are not going to invite your friend then don’t invite your friend.
Your friend has the freedom to choose who she wants to date BUT you also have the freedom to choose if you are going to associate with these people.
Perhaps this will be a wake-up call to your friend that she will be left out of social situations if she is dating somebody who people do not like and do not want to be around.
Also, I think you should put your fiances feelings first. It’s his wedding too, afterall. I’m sorry your friend will be upset but it’s better for her to be upset than your fiance to be upset.
No invitation is my opinion, good luck!
Post # 5
If you want your friend at your wedding, then invite your friend, you do not have to invite her boyfriend if you do not want him there. I was always under the impression that any guests who are invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding so it sounds like she really should be invited.