Post # 1
I will try to make this short – I just got our invitations in last week…so exciting! But now I am back to questioning the decision to not invite my only aunt and uncle and grandfather – also my godparents and only living grandparent. I know I will have plenty of friends there and my large immediate family (I am the oldest of 6)… but I can’t help feeling weird/bad about what has happened over the past several years to come to this – way to much to explain really….but has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any advice? Should I send them an invite, even though they prob. won’t come…we haven’t talked in years and last time we saw them was at my grandmothers funeral in December 08 – we didn’t really talk to them there…they are my mothers siblings….and my fathers father.
Post # 3
If it’s drama with other people in your family besides yourself, then I would be wary of doing anything without discussing it with the people involved. You wouldn’t want to upset people you do talk to regularly.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t invite them. You wouldn’t want anyone to use your wedding as a place to stir up trouble or rehash old arguments. If you really want a reconcilliation with these people consider meeting with them before the wedding to see if they are receptive, then go from there. I second, ONash, though about talking to your close family about this first. You wouldn’t want to upset your close fam. WEddings are emotional enough for people, especially your parents, and you wouldn’t want to make them uncomfortable on such a special day. Good luck!
Post # 5
That’s good advice! Thank you – that is what I had originally thought, but I was talking to my mom about it earlier today and both feeling sad about how the relationships have gone downhill when we all used to be so close. I was thinking about sending them invites so that later I wouldn’t regret not sending….but I think that keeping the potential drama to a minimum on our wedding day is key!
Post # 6
Its a tough decision…I think you made the best choice though. Good luck.
Post # 7
I’m inviting a brother I haven’t talked to for 2 or 3 years. My two other brothers haven’t spoken with him for about 1 year. He’s been estranged from the family (by his choice) off and on for 20/25 years. But he’s my brother and I don’t want to hear through the family grapevine that he was upset about not being invited. So I’m sending him an invite but I really don’t think he’ll come.
It’s a hard decision to make. You have to do what you feel is right, not what everyone else thinks you should do.
Post # 8
I am not inviting any estranged family members … and I don’t feel one bit guilty for it. If they are not in my life, it’s for a good reason.
Just found out that an estranged family member told someone they would not be coming to my wedding … not that I would invite them … but it took a serious burden off of my shoulders.