Post # 1
My Fiance and I started dating right at the end of high school. His ex-gf (and my friend) set us up way back when, and now expects an invite to the wedding! I am still friends with her, he is cordial but not close to her, and he really doesn’t want her there, which I totally understand. Now the question is: how do we tell her she can’t come, and which of us has to be the bad guy?
Post # 3
how big’s the wedding? can you just use the usual, “it’s a small wedding, only super close family and friends” excuse? you should probably tell her, since you’re still friends with her and he’s not.
Post # 4
If you both don’t want her there just don’t invite her and don’t feel bad about it. It’s your wedding, you don’t have to invite people you don’t want there.
I agree with artbee, just tell her it’s close family and friends. I’ms ure she’ll understand.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA
Seems a little odd that she’d want to come to her ex’s wedding. I would never in a million years want to go to one of mine’s, even if we were still friends.
I second using the “small wedding” excuse to not invite her!
Post # 6
@cola. i went to one of my ex’s wedding’s. we’re friends, been friends since we were babies, and neighbors since we were 2, and dated for 6 months in high school. he’ll also be at my wedding, it’s not a big deal for us, since our families are bff’s. (however, i didn’t like it when at his wife’s shower, the day before her wedding, her mom kept introducing me to everyone as his ex gf. she obviously wasn’t as ok with it as everyone else).
Post # 7
I know there are some situations where ex’s can be friends to some point but it sounds like she’s an acquitance and if neither of you want her there, don’t invite her. honestly, don’t feel bad about it, it’s your wedding and don’t let this worry you.
dont fret *hugs*!!
Post # 8
@MissBBQ…I guess I am on the other side of the fence in that I am not surprised that she wants to come since she is the one who initially hooked you guys up. However, if you guys are uncomfortable having her there then don’t invite her. Be careful about using the “small wedding” excuse since it only works when no mutual friends are invited to the wedding who will gush about it later.
Post # 9
it’s YOUR day. this is one day you don’t have to be PC. u don’t want her there? then she’s not invited! period. and don’t feel bad about it.
Post # 10
It doesn’t sound like she’s that close of a friend that she “deserves” an invite to the wedding if you don’t want to invite her. My best friend is actually my ex-bf (we dated 8 years ago) and he’ll be one of my bridesmen, so I don’t think it’s ALWAYS inappropriate or awkward to invite exes. I think it just depends on the situation.
Post # 11
Can’t blame you for not wanting her there, but I would say that it’s for very close family and it’s small. If she doesn’t respect that’s her problem, you let her know now so she doesn’t expect an invite.