Post # 1
I have this cousin that I hate! She is nothing but drama. I was never around her when she was younger but as adults she has stolen money from other family members and me. She has stiffed me out of $100’s and is a horrible person. She tends to drink more then anyone should and on multiple occasions has got in a bar fight and broke glass bottles over someones head or has had a ton of drunk one night stands. She has also called the cops on me. Needless to say she is my least fav person and I do not want to invite her out of the fear of what will happen at my wedding if I do.
Today I told her mom to give her a heads up (also a drama queen) and she proceeded to tell me how wrong I was and that if I did not invite her daughter none of her grown kids (31 and 25) will be attending and neither will she. It was like she is trying to bully me into inviting her. The email was rather long and just plan stupid and over dramatic. To be honest I really could careless if any of them come because I am not close with them but I don’t have any harsh feelings towards them either.
Howeer, my question to you ladies do you think you must invite family even if you don’t like them?
Post # 3
@Nola: I wouldn’t invite her. Sounds like way too much drama (from her mother also) than you need to deal with!
Post # 4
Depends on the family member. In your situation, I might not of invited her…but that would’ve meant not giving anyone a heads up, and only inviting the mom. If you invite the cousin’s siblings, I would invite her. Otherwise, there might be more problems.
Post # 6
I gave her mom a heads up because she is a drama queen and I knew she would freak out. Knowing her mom if I didn’t say anything she would have just told her to show up because her invite must have gotten lost in the mail.
Post # 7
I don’t think you have to invite anyone who might make you uncomfortable on your wedding day, nor someone anyone else may have to babysit. Don’t be guilted or bullied into inviting someone you don’t want there.
Post # 8
If you’re not close to them and it’s not going to ruin your day if they’re not there then don’t do it.
Post # 9
I definitely wouldn’t invite her.. especially if she has trouble controlling her bahavior when she’s drinking. You do NOT want that at your reception! I would probabaly pull back on talking to her mom about it though. Just try to handle it calmly and without too much argument. if it comes again, I would just say “that’s our decisison and I’m sorry if you don’t agree with it.” You can still invite the mom if you feel that she won’t cause a problem because of this issue, but expect her to decline if she feels threatened. Basically, I would just shrug it off and try not to let them bother you any more thatn they have to.
Post # 10
I think there’s a difference between inviting family members you don’t like and inviting family members who actually have the potential to ruin your day. I’ll be inviting some family members that I don’t really like, but I doubt I’ll even notice them that day, and they’re not ones to cause drama. In your situation though, where your cousin’s presence may really take away from your enjoyment of your wedding day, I would do exactly what you did and not invite her. Read Mrs. Socks’ recent posts on the blog if you need more reason not to invite family members that will bring the drama.
Post # 11
Pb+j I completely agree. These family members sound like nothing but trouble. I think it is wise not to invite them. If I were you, I wouldn’t.
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2011 - Gardens of the World
I agree with pb and j as well. Your cousin sounds horrendous and you dont want the stress of her potentially ruining part of your wedding day hanging over your head. In my case, I have a couple of relatives who are real wet blankets and criticize everything I do. I cant stand them, but Im inviting them because I really dont think I will even notice their attitudes during the day and inviting them will keep the peace.
Post # 13
If you aren’t close to someone, don’t invite them.
Post # 14
Uhh I have a psycho cousin like this… He’s not invited. Don’t feel bad!
Post # 15
I would never not invite one cousin, but invite their siblings. That is just me, though. If you don’t like her, you don’t have to invite her. But your other cousins also have the right not to show up if they are offended. I know I would be if my siblings were invited and I wasn’t, or vice versa. Also, my parents would probably not come if one of their children wasn’t invited and the others were. As long as you are ok with that possibility, then I think its fine.
Post # 16
I’m inviting a cousin that I dont like because its much less drama to just invite her. Having said that, she isnt really the type to make a scene or anything so am not expecting anything crazy from her at the wedding