(Closed) Inviting former high schoold best friends, only interaction now thru FB?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To be honest, I feel like you dont have to justify anything to her. 15 years without any contact is a long time. And unfortunatly FB makes it seem like people are super involved with your life again. Tell her its close friends and family only, and shes not invited, or just dont say anything! When she doesnt get her invitation, she’ll get the hint. I only invited friends from highschool I kept in contact with and got together with. Just cause I was friends with you 5 years ago, doesnt mean you get a wedding invite! 

Post # 4
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I did invite that person. She RSVP’d “yes” then didn’t show up and didn’t bother to call me for 2 weeks afterward. I thought that trying to involve her in the day would hold on to that last thread, but it didn’t. Whatever was left of our friendship officially died on my wedding day when I realized that I meant absolutely nothing to her. And when you have a small wedding to start with, those 2 empty seats at the table are a gaping hole you will never forget.

Post # 5
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

Man, I have the opposite problem – my good friend who I called my twin though jr. high and high school went to a different college, and then fell off the face of the earth.  I don’t know how to find her, she isn’t on facebook!  I would love to invite her, but don’t know what to do…  

I say if she still seemed like the wonderful person you remember, you should get in contact and if it works out, invite her (without a plus one, though).  But if she seems totally weird now, which is what you indicated, you have no obligation to invite her.  Maybe privately message her and mention that it is very awkward that you have to say this, but she will not be receiving an invite.  Blame it on the cost, and hopefully it’ll shut her up.  It’s too bad she seems to think she deserves a free meal from you, but maybe she’s wishing you two were still better friends, so maybe it’d be worth it to spend some time one on one?

Post # 6
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Nope, don’t invite.

Hell, I was in the bridal party of my high school-BF and I’m not inviting her to my wedding now.  We are not close anymore (partly because of shit that went down around her wedding) and FI and I only want people there who we truly love and have made a significant impact on our relationship.  But maybe I’m just cold…

Post # 7
Member
7982 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh I have this issue too. The last time we saw each other was at her wedding which was at least 3 years ago, and she put FI and myself at the very “last” table. I guess I took that as a sign that she didn’t see me as being very important in her life any more, and so I didn’t invite her to mine. Then I get the “when is the big day?!” comment on FB…ugh! I guess if she outright asked I would invite her…but otherwise, no.

Post # 8
Member
2426 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I didn’t, and I don’t feel bad about it. I have way too many friends on FB that I just don’t talk to, and my wedding was big enough between family and our close friends!

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