Post # 1
Would you do it? Did you do it?
My definition of a frenemy is someone who you have a fun time with at events and in social settings but irritates you as a true friend. They are the people that stand out in your mind when you think about calling up someone to party with but the last person you think about when you need a shoulder to cry on. If you did, you would probably get off the fun feeling more upset than before.
So would you invite this person to your wedding?
Post # 3
nope. Our guest list was close friends and families only.
Post # 4
@TaurianDoll: We have a couple of those that we arent sure how to deal with. The obvious answer, to us, is to not invite them…but we see them alot in social settings and work and don’t want things to be strange. Commenting to follow for advice!
Post # 5
@badabing88: I’m kind of in the same boat. One of them is a definite frenemy but she’s very sweet and means well…in her own self-absorbed way. The other one is flaky but will show up if the other one shows up. The 3 of us do dinner parties together and have a good time when we’re together but they suck as real friends.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Hell to the no. 🙂
Doesn’t sound like these girls will be in your life for the long-term, so don’t bother.
Post # 7
@TaurianDoll: We didn’t. There was one girl in particular who was always nice to my face, but would send a mutual friend text messages talking crap about me and especially Darling Husband ( she said things like he was “ugly” and the though of us being *together* was disgusting because he was so unnattractive). Well, she promptly got the boot from our guest list.
Then everytime we would all hang out she would ask questions about the wedding and fake interest. It wasn’t until she saw our wedding invitation on someones else’s fridge did she get the hint we didn’t invite her… and she went OFF on me. It was fine, and it didn’t cause any rift’s between friends because, in all honestly, everyone pretty much associated her with being a massive brat anyways.
Post # 8
Nope. But we’re having a super small wedding so it’s easy to cut people from the guest list.
Post # 9
I hate the word “frenemy”… because why would I have “friends” who aren’t really my friends? As I understand “frenemy” it is not just a flakey friend or a fringe friend, but rather someone who competes with you in the friendship and/or talks about you behind you back. Apparently I am too nice of a person to know immediately when someone is a “frenemy”, and have been told by others that I have a “frenemy-ship” instead of a friendship, when I thought it was genuine.
Once I find out people are acting like that…. they are no longer a friend, and why would I invite them to my wedding?
Post # 10
@badabing88: Same here…Commenting to follow for advice. For me a frenemy is all what OP mentioned but also a competetive friend who cannot truly be happy for one’s achievements. I have one or two of those in my friends group, which are nice enough for going for drinks but nothing more. Plus the one who only ever calls if she NEEDS something and I am too much of a sucker to call her out on it. She would be upset if she werent invited.
Post # 11
@TaurianDoll: Oh those don’t sound like frienemies to me- they sound like acquaintences. A frienemy is someone who is also your enemy– like they are mean and horrible to you behind your back.
Either way, I wouldn’t invite an acquaintence, even though I have a lot that I have a ton of fun with. There just isn’t room since I come from a large family. I hang out with a group that consists of maybe 3 dozen people- sometimes everyone goes dancing together or to parties but mostly it’s some combination of smaller groups meeting up. NONE of them are invited when I get married. I’m having my five closest friends & their partners. That is IT unless we share blood.
Post # 12
@TaurianDoll: nope.. I wouldn’t invite.. Why would you invite someone to your wedding if they Annoy you? Unless they are family and you have no choice.. I had a smaller wedding, a little over 50 people.. We Only invited and wanted our close family and friends.
Post # 13
Nope I wouldn’t. But what you described doesn’t sound like a frenemy. It sounds like a casual party friend.
Don’t know any kind of friend that isn’t real because I can’t fake-feelings to save my life, so there’s that.
Post # 14
Omg I am going through this exact dilemma now with a woman I work with who is close ‘friends’ with a mutual friend. I plan on inviting the mutual friend to the whole thing but am really really struggling to want to invite the colleague at all because, well basically why would I want to have anyone there who I know would be critiquing and criticising everything.
Post # 15
@TaurianDoll: Nope. I don’t have any such relationships