(Closed) Inviting guests, Kids or no Kids?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are Children invited to your wedding?
    Yes, Anyone can bring all their children : (15 votes)
    27 %
    Yes, but only immediate family : (12 votes)
    21 %
    No, Children are not invited : (23 votes)
    41 %
    Other-Please explain in comments : (6 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We didn’t extend an invitation to young children either.  It is YOUR wedding, so you have every right not to invite children if you don’t want to, but bear in mind the guest has every right to decline the invitation.  If she’s not on board with your request, she can stay home.  No harm, no foul 🙂

    We only had feedback from one person, but it is my MIL’s cousin and she called Mother-In-Law (who was the one adamantly against having kids there) so she took care of it.  She basically said “I’m sorry the kids aren’t invited, but we hope to see you there anyway!”

    Post # 4
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    You really can’t be surprised that a guest declines their invite because you’ve not invited their kids. You’re not in the wrong for not inviting the kids; they are not in the wrong for choosing not to come. Neither one of you is wrong. Neither one of you is right.  This is always the risk one takes when choosing to exclude kids from the invites.

    We can debate till the cows come home whether it’s socially acceptable to invite kids; to invite them in circles (i.e. siblings’ kids fine, cousins’ kids not fine, blah blah). There is no official rule other than “have some logic to it and don’t single out anyone” but you can always come up with a logic that excludes exactly who you want to leave out. So that’s not even worth discussing.

    What it comes down to is an invitation does not need to include the whole family, but it is also not a legal summons. If you choose to make exclusions, don’t be surprised when a guest chooses not to come. 

    Post # 6
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We are not having any kids besides the 3 in the wedding party. Fiance and I decided that we would rather them not come then to bring kids. Then again, nobody with kids is THAT close to us so it doesnt matter.

    Post # 7
    1108 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Maybe a little harsh, but I would let them refuse the invitation.  If the kids are that bad it isn’t worth it, not to mention that you have made the rule that only immediately family kids are invited.

    I know exactly how you feel though regarding the bad kids.  I have two kids in my family who are terrors, and it was making me feel ill just imagining them being at my wedding.  Fortunately their mom told me she didn’t want to bring them anyways, so that problem was solved.

    Good luck, and I hope you don’t fall out with the couple over this issue.

    Post # 8
    8444 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We decided not to invite children because our wedding really isn’t appropriate for children (late evening wedding with an open bar).  We are allowing 2 couples to bring their infants because they are traveling from another state.

    Post # 10
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Bridal Party only with few exceptions, like Out of Town guests and very young babies. Most people wanted to leave their kids with a sitter and enjoy themselves. We had a couple declines from people (one was because the husband banged the sitter in the past so the wife has a rule about no sitters…) but it was no big deal.

    I hardly noticed the children at my wedding, but thats besides the point.

    My reasoning was that this was a backyard wedding with a huge pool and lots of drunk adults. Not a place for kids.

    Post # 11
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We’re generally having no children, but kids in bridal party are coming and we are letting our wedding party members bring their kids if they’d like.  I don’t think anyone will, but we’re doing our best to accommodate special needs on a case by case basis. We’re providing babysitters as well since our wedding is in a hotel, so it’s basically a non-issue if kids are upstairs with a babysitter where parents can check on them.

    Post # 12
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    Don’t budge on your decision.  They can find a sitter to come to your wedding by themselves.  If they don’t want to make that small effort, then they don’t really care about you.

    We’re having a kid-friendly wedding, but we’re also paying for 2 professional, CPR-certified babysitters to take care of any kids in attendance on the 2nd floor while we party on the 1st.  So, there won’t technically be kids at the reception since they’ll be in a different room (and on another floor).  They also get kid’s meals, so it doesn’t really affect our food budget by that much.

    Post # 13
    2968 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    if i’d had it completely my way we wouldn’t have invited any kids at all. but my fiance has several nieces and nephews who are very close to him (and a few are his god children), so we did invite them. they were prefectly quiet during the ceremony, but were running wild during the reception. i was really annoyed.

    some of our guests had to decline because they couldn’t find a sitter and/or were out of towners, so that was disappointing, but i really didn’t want to make anymore exceptions than we already had.

    Post # 14
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We put on our invites “Adult Only Recption to Follow”…hopefully they get the hint! Immediate family is fine to bring their kids, but I do not want a ton of kids running around. Don’t get me wrong..I love kids. I am an elementary school teacher, but I just prefer adults.

    Post # 15
    227 posts
    Helper bee

    We are only allowing Children of out of town guest. It could be hard to get a baby sitter for a weekend if your whole family will be at the wedding.

    Post # 16
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @fishbone:  Yep. Spot on.

    I’m lucky in that none of the kids coming to my wedding are ****** nightmares. But the idea of not inviting them would never have occurred to me.

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