Inviting guests to ceremony and after dinner reception

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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mamak1847 :  I don’t think there’s a way to do this tastefully..

If I were you, I wouldn’t invite anyone that wasn’t invited to the dinner portion. Sorry :o/

Post # 3
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

No, just invite the ones you can afford to invite to the whole event.

If you want to celebrate with other people, do something at a bar or restaurant after the fact, but don’t call it a wedding if you’re not going to pay for their meal. People will feel obligated to bring you a gift if that’s the case, but you should properly host them.

Post # 4
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

I know in some places (the UK for instance) there are tiered events, perfectly the norm and accepted……but if I’m not close enough to be invited to dinner, I wouldn’t go – but that’s just me.

Post # 5
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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mamak1847 :  What are they supposed to do in between while the people you like more are having dinner?  No way would I accept that invitation.

Post # 6
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

No that’s really awkward.

Post # 7
Member
3443 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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ohitsheragain :  Same question.

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mamak1847 :  Are these people expected to leave after the ceremony then return later or sit awkwardly watching everyone else eat dinner while they go hungry? If your ceremony and reception aren’t in the same location then how do you explain that they need to find something to do to kill time bc they aren’t invited to dinner? Not even sure how this is supposed to work.

Post # 8
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee

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mamak1847 :  no unfortunately.

I have seen people be invited only to the after dinner portion. That usually doesnt fly either, but its better than asking people to leave after the ceremony and then come back for the after party. What do they do in between – go home? Go eat dinner themselves? i guess it depends on the locations. 

The party that i saw invited to the after dinner only was coworkers and that was because they were all on the late shift finishing at 8pm/9pm. 

Post # 9
Member
5292 posts
Bee Keeper

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mamak1847 :  Nope. Dinner is part of the celebration if you wish for them to “celebrate” with you. Either don’t invite them at all or find a more affordable dinner caterer to accommodate your coworkers too. 

Post # 10
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Where I am from, inviting people to come later on for drinks is totally acceptable. However, these people are not invited to the ceremony either, theyre invited JUST for drinks. Inviting people to  the ceremony and then asking them to come back at like 1030 pm will come off as rude so I wouldnt do that

Post # 11
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

UK bee here and yes here giving evening invites is the norm. Usually it is for colleagues, recent friends, partners etc. 

Its rare that you’d invite them to the ceremony and then the evening though. Usually it’s just evening.

in my book it’s fine to do. I’ve accepted evening only invites and sent them for our wedding.

 

Post # 12
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

No you definitely can’t invite them to the ceremony but not dinner. That’s a hard no. If you want to just invite them for drinks/dancing after dinner that’s alright, if it matches the relationship you have with them, like not so close co-workers.

Post # 13
Member
2844 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

No. Just no. 

Post # 14
Member
7697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That’s a no-go in the US. 

Post # 15
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

We were invited to a wedding like this (husband’s coworker) We were invited to the church ceremony and evening reception (no dinner). We went to the reception for the party but didn’t bother to go to the church. The party was alot of fun and we weren’t bothered by not being invited to the dinner, but we had no desire to get ready/dress up for an early afternoon ceremony just to wait for the reception. I wouldn’t be surprised if your coworkers did the same thing.

Personally I understood that in my husband’s line of work, coworkers are extremely close (“brothers and sisters”) Everyone seems to invite their entire platoon + spouses and that would be an extra 30ish people to add to the dinner. It was nice to be able to go and have drinks with everyone, our feelings weren’t hurt at all.

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