(Closed) Inviting homophobic family

posted 10 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If you are inviting your cousin, you really have to invite his wife.  That won’t cost any more in postage, and if she is hostile, she just won’t come.

If the question is whether you should even invite the cousin in question, that’s more of a judgment call.  Would you otherwise want to have the cousin there?  Are you inviting other cousins–perhaps siblings of this one?

Ultimately, it will be up to you.  However, we had enough people whose views on gay marriage turned around based on our wedding that I would hate to tell you categorically not to invite her.

Post # 4
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@2dBride: Agree, if you are inviting the husband, you can’t really not invite his wife to the wedding. However, I do think if it is going to cause you stress and you wouldn’t want her there, you probably shouldn’t invite either of them.

Post # 5
43 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yeah, just to be polite I would. I’m sending out an invitation to my grandparents who love me, but have already said they wont be attending the wedding because “its the thing to do” they don’t come it’s their loss, not yours 🙂


Post # 7
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It is sad to hear so many people are still homophobic.  Change is hard for so many people. 

I have found that kindness is a great way to go.  It catches them off guard.  They are so wrapped up in their own hating that when kindness is shown to them, sometimes they just shut up.

Good Luck.  I will send some good thoughts your way and send your hating cousin’s wife some too.  She certainly needs it.  It seems she has so much unhappiness inside her that she wants to share it with others through showing hate.

Peace and Blessings.

Post # 8
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would invite her.  Out of etiquette, kindness, and being the bigger person. 

Deciding to come is up to her, but don’t decide for her by not extending the invite. 

My sister chose not to come to my first wedding at the last minute because she thought we couldn’t handle the fact that she was a lesbian.  While there may have been some people confused by it at first, ultimately, they were more upset that she didn’t have the faith in them to be happy for her or tolerant/understanding of her life.  It took years for everyone to get over their hurt and anger about her not letting them decide what they are comfortable with.

Good luck! 

Post # 9
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have several family members who are homophobic (or at least not okay with gay marriage and relationships) whom we invited anyways.  Worst comes to worst they just won’t come or respond… but I wanted to at least be polite, even if I don’t get politeness back from them.  Why give them any more ammo against the GLBT community?

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