(Closed) Inviting Kids but No Meals for Kids Under Two

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

So you aren’t going to feed the kids under two? That is just not ok in my book. Sorry. I can see under 1, but two year olds eat food! Real food. You don’t want their parents whipping out a doggie bag for you? You shouldn’t. How many 2 year olds are we talking here?

Post # 5
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

If you’re inviting them, then yes I think you need to feed them. I’m sorry. I know that the price sucks, but what are they going to do while y’all eat? Are you sure there isn’t a price cut for even younger children? I know that my daughter at the age of 1 1/2 to 2 would have eaten a kid’s meal at dinner. Also, if they aren’t eating while y’all are eating and have nothing to do, most kids would start to act up.

Post # 6
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Could you have somebody run out and pick up Happy Meals for the kids? That might be cute and it’s certainly cheaper! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

At our venu we have a reduced rate for kids under 10 and kids under the age of 2 are free. Probably because they realize they won’t eat much… Maybe your veny will offer something similar?

Post # 9
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I will say that I wouldn’t bring my child to a wedding, much less an evening wedding at a vineyard. So you might be safe there. If you don’t want kids there, don’t invite them, but I think it’s an all or nothing kind of thing. Either no kids or all of them and they have to eat. 🙂 Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I totally disagree.  I think a parent with an infant (24 months and younger!) should expect to bring their own, or feed them before the reception!  Because a 2 year old will not eat that late at night anyway, and you’d be paying $33 per kid for nothing!  They’ll all be SLEEPING by that time anyway, not eating.  I say include it on the invite!

Post # 11
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would just check to see if you can bring outside food for children that young or asked for a reduced rate. Maybe you can have a table set up with kid friendly foods like PB & J, veggies, fruit, etc. I am sure that if you negotiate they will work with you.

My vendor does not charge for children 6 and under so when I give my final count I have to give the number of children under 6 as well. Because my 6 year old niece (the Flower Girl) is very picky with her food, the vendor agreed to allow us to bring in her favorite foods and they will make it for us.

Post # 12
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If we’re only talking about 5 kids, then call their parents! It’s 5 phone calls, and it’ll save you trouble in the end. Say something like, "I’m trying to figure out how many kids meals to provide, and I was wondering whether you plan to bring little Jimmy, and whether he will eat chicken fingers?"

It’s *not* okay to hint that you’re hoping not to feed the kids… but hopefully some parents will say, "oh we’ll bring a jar of baby food" or something.

It would definitely be nice to have the extra 5 spaces, but even if you don’t feed any of the 5 kids, you’re only saving $165, and possibly costing yourself some friendships. Not worth it, in my opinion.

And definitely negotiate with your venue! Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Basically the venue just wants your money. Otherwise you’d save SOOO much bringing in happy meals or little finger foods for kiddies. I think a parent would naturally give their 1.5-2 year old a smidgen of mashed potatoes anyways off their own plate.Our nephew will be 2 in August and he doesn’t eat "real food" yet. Just a few bites here and there. His mom still brings him snacks and stuff. 

I’d just say "between 2 and 12" or whatever is sufficient. BUt I wouldn’t have invited them all in the first place, but that’s just me! A vineyard/winery type setting just doesn’t seem fitting….you may end up with less kids than you’re expecting.

Not to mention, kids are real picky anyways, so just because you provide dinner doesn’t mean they’ll eat it! What a waste. 

Plus, what time are you serving dinner? a 630pm dinner might be too late for them to eat anwyays and the mom would likely feed them at 5 or so. 

Post # 14
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My youngest is 2 and she can eat just as much as my 8 and 10 yr old. I would def not rule out feeding them. Like most suggested ask for a lower price for younger children. If not explain to them that you only have a handful of youngins and see if outside food can be brought in for them. I am sure they will be more then happy to help you out or give you a suggestion. Good luck

Post # 15
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with the others – call the parents.  It’s totally reasonable to call them – don’t mention the cost of the food, just ask whether you should order the full kids meal for the kid and see whether they say they aren’t bringing him or her, and whether they say, "well, he probably won’t eat it anyway, so don’t bother" or "omg, she eats the entirety of what you put in front of her plus half my plate."  Or they tell you s/he doesn’t eat that late.  I know its more stress than you want to deal with, but putting it on the invitation may not make the point clearly enough. 

Post # 16
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Lots of good stuff has been said so far.  A few things:

1. You said, "The Happy Meal idea is cute, but I’ll have to see if the reception facility will allow outside food (our wedding is at a vineyard that has on site catering)."  If you find that it does not allow outside food, you must offer food to ALL of the kids.  Otherwise, how will they eat?

2.  Yes, as Theresainpa said, you might be surprised that a two year old can eat well.  And there might be a 7 year old, who doesn’t.  Children between 1-2 can probably eat most of what is offered on a kids menu.  Children under 1 can probably eat some things, depending on what is offered, and kids under six months are probably mostly on jar food.

3.  Give parents some credit.  I have children.  Chances are I wouldn’t bring them, in the first place.  But for those who do, I think they know their children well enough to know if they are going to eat the food or not.  If they are infants, they are probably going to bring baby food, not order a meal for a child who is too young to eat it.

4.  If you can bring in McD’s, I would offer that as an option for all kids.  The older ones might like it better too.  (If this is an option with your venue…. IDK.)  But if you can just get them to bend for the littlest ones, I’d say leave the parents the option of ordering from the kids’ menu with the venue, or ordering from McD’s.  And if you do offer McD’s, make sure someone is in charge of paying and delivering it to the reception.

5.  I don’t think you should exclude offering dinner to some guests based on a presumption that they will or won’t eat it.  If you are inviting them, you need to feed them.  If you can offer McD’s to young kids, they’ll probably enjoy that.  However, you might be surprised that some two year old will eat their kiddie meal better than your cousin’s date eats her adult meal. If you are inviting an adult you know is picky, will you not offer her dinner because she is likely not to eat much?  If you are hoping by not offering dinner to the little ones, people will leave their kids at home, consider simply not inviting them.

 

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