(Closed) Inviting kids to ceremony only?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

What time is your reception and will there be alcohol? I think that it would be perfectly acceptable to allow kids to come to the ceremony if the parents wished (as it is more of a solemn event) and then not allow them to come to the reception (if it is late and there is alcohol). The reception is basically a party and there are lots of reasons to not have kids, not the least of which is that you want their parents to be able to really be in the moment and celebrate! It is great that you’re providing childcare during the reception, but I see no problem with allowing kids to go to the ceremony if you want to. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I think I agree.  Perhaps if you mention it casually.  Like you could just call or e-mail the parents and say, “If the kids are interested or just looking for something to do, it would be all right for them to attend the ceremony.”  Also, with these babysitters you have for the hotel guests, would the babysitters be available for the ceremony too?  If not, the Out of Town guests would need to figure something out for their kids.  Either one or both of them would have to skip the ceremony, or they’d have to bring the kids.  So in a way, it makes a lot of sense to allow them to come to the ceremony.  That could also be something you say to the parents, as to why the kids are invited to the ceremony.

Post # 6
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

How would you feed them if they won’t let you bring food for them?

Also, I don’t think you should make it a point to state specifically if kids can come to ceremony just say it’s adults only and babysitting will be provided. Than as parents ask just say o they are more than welcome to join us for the ceremony, but for the reception we are having a strict no children policy since there will be alcohol and our venue won’t let children around it or something like that

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well I don’t think the idea is horrible, as long as there’s adequate adult supervision but practically speaking it seems like it might be tough to pull off.  That means that you’d have to designate someone to escort the children to the proper room and someone would have to provide dinner for the children anyway.  So there parents would still be responsible for making sure their child is fed and being watched properly.  Hmmm, that’s a toughy but if you can figure out how to cover all the bases I think its fine.  Now that I’m thinking about it, I’d say to just stick with the no children policy because I’m sure most children wouldn’t want to attend the ceremony without attending the reception.  And some parents may not feel comforatble with the arrangement.

Post # 8
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Actually, if the ceremony is right before the reception, I would probably just stick with providing the babysitting for both, and be done with it too.  I was thinking the ceremony was in a different location and only babysitting for the reception.  I still think that it would be OK, for the kids to attend the ceremony if they really wanted to.  But I don’t think your Fi should feel obligated to “make some gesture” to make them feel included.  (Not sure if that’s why he asked.) The ceremony and reception basically are one big event.

I think what is a bigger issue, IMO, is that the venue won’t allow food in the babysitting room.  To me that is incredibly upsurd.  If any demographic needs food to be easily accesible, it’s kids.  It shouldn’t be allowed to be a babysitting room, then.  And for the venue to not accomodate that seems like terrible customer service.  I’d consider talking to them to see if they could bend the rules.  Or at least what they suggest you do about feeding these kids.

Post # 9
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

On our invites we have only invited adults (and very small babies). Some people have older children that aren’t mentioned on the invites, because we are having an adults-only reception. On our website in the RSVP section I’ve put a note that says “children are welcome at the ceremony but due to space restrictions we ask that you make alternative arrangements for the reception. the venue can arrange babysitting…” Our ceremony has no space restrictions (it’s outdoors) and it’s not such an “adult” event in my mind (e.g. no alcohol). I felt it might be easier for the parents if they only had to worry about organising babysitting etc for the evening (plus there will be 90-odd minutes between end of ceremony and start of reception, which they could spend with their children if they wished). We haven’t sent the invites out yet though so I’ll wait & see what everyone decides to do!

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