(Closed) Inviting “lady friend” of whom I don’t get along with

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

does your friend know how you feel about his lady friend?  can you talk to him about it?

Post # 5
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you are giving everyone else a plus 1, you have to give him one too.  He’ll probably bring her, and you’ll have to deal with it.  I know that sucks, but realistically, how much time are you really going to have to spend with her at the wedding, really?  It doesn’t matter if you don’t get along with her since you’ll be too busy and too happy to “get along” with anyone!  Unless she’s got some dastardly plan to ruin your day (which I seriously doubt), suck it up and just have a good time!

Post # 6
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

If you’re allowing other people +1’s I’m sure he’s not going to be happy about it. If someone invited your FH to a wedding but told him privately “I’d prefer you not bring your SO..” how would you react? How would your FH react? Telling him not to bring her  may hurt your relationship with him. Personally, if someone said this to my husband and he didn’t distance himself from them I would be very hurt. Plus, doing this confirms to her she bothers you and she may get some satisfaction out of that. The best way to irritate someone like this is pretend like you don’t even notice them.

  I totally understand how you feel, but if you want him there I would invite him +1 (don’t use her name :). If they both decide to attend stick them in a corner away from you somewhere. You’ll be having such a wonderful day I doubt you’ll notice her.

Post # 8
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Here’s a way to avoid; only invite +1’s for those married or in significant relationships of a year or more. Address the invite to your friend only and put that one seat has been reserved for him. If/when he asks about bringing her, say regretfully that you’re limiting the guest list to only close friends & family.

And he shows up with her anyways, grit your teeth & smile. And then go order a stiff drink.

Post # 9
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

@Pupperoni: I don’t understand.. what  is the problem then? Tell him you’re only inviting people +1 with serious SO’s. No drama necessary.

Post # 10
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

… if you’re only inviting serious plus 1s anyway, why is this even an issue?

Post # 11
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Don’t allow him to bring a +1.  Simple.  If he questions it, tell him unfortuantely you’re tight on numbers.

Post # 13
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

But have they been together the ENTIRE year? Or has it been off & on?

Post # 14
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s your wedding and you can invite or not invite whoever you want. With that being said, would you be okay if your friend is not coming because he can’t bring a plus 1? If you really want your friend to be there, then just invite her. What’s the worse thing she can do?

Post # 15
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think that you should have to consider having someone whose company you don’t enjoy at your wedding… it’s a day where you want to be surrounded by your family and friends!

I’m currently working on my guest list & in this situation, I would invite the friend in question without a + 1.

I would hope that your friend would respect your decision (maybe say that you need to be strict on numbers) and still celebrate your day with you without a date… obviously the situation will be more comfortable if you have friends in common!

Post # 16
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with the previous posters: if only serious SO’s are invited as +1’s then just tell him rules are rules and he can’t bring her. It sucks but what can he say about it – no one else gets a +1 so why should he

The topic ‘Inviting “lady friend” of whom I don’t get along with’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors