(Closed) Inviting more people than you can fit/pay for?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not smart to invite more people than you can accomodate for exactly the reason you said – everyone comes. That being said, I invited about 10 people more than my maximum, but my wedding is semi-destination (for everyone but me!) and involves 500+ miles of traveling…the ten people extra are above 80 and don’t travel, but were obligatory to send.  Before sending, I knew 100% that they weren’t coming.

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it’s a terrible idea but my friend is inviting 390+ and her room can only hold 250. She’s hoping people don’t show.

Post # 5
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We invited our max and only sent out invites and plus ones to equal our maximum.  

Post # 6
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m having an A-list and a B-list.  Wait for replies and then see if you can invite more.

xo

Post # 7
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 I could never invite more people than I could physically accomodate – it would stress me out way too much!

We have a max guest list of exactly 184 people (exluding vendors) and I’m sure not all of them will come (we’re hoping for 150 people max) but I’ve made a point of only looking at venues that will fit this number and budgeting for this number.

The people that invite more than the venue holds are really really brave in my opinion.

Post # 9
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@heatherlm84:  Oh hey, you’re not important enough to invite to my wedding… unless someone I wanted there more than you can’t make it… then sure, I’ll invite you and I expect a gift too!

B-listing is rude.

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I heard people saying to invite over by 15-20 percent. however I wasn’t comfortable doing that. Most of my family are in the New England area and will travel, and last year when My Fi Cousin got married in New York nearly his whole family including the older generation traveled for it.So just to be on the safe side we are inviting people who can fit in there according to the fire code.

Post # 12
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We did this to an extent. I think we invited at least 10 guests over what we originally planned for. It worked out for us as we did have some guests decline the invitation.

Post # 14
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MargaritaVille:  yep, we only had 5 people not come but we knew that ahead of time.  We invited 112.   I think the more smaller and intimate the wedding, the more likely your whole guest list will come as opposed to bigger weddings.

and the caterers don’t allow for extras.   They plan for only the final head count, so you will have to pay the rest for unexpected guests later.

we didn’t have any no shows but I imagine you would be out that money, or they could allot it somewhere else.  

Thats why I never understood how some venues require full payment before the wedding day is over.   The budget, numbers etc are constantly changing.   We didn’t have to pay The remainder until after the wedding

Post # 15
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MargaritaVille:  Yeah I would never think to risk it by inviting anymore then that.

Post # 16
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Our venue can hold up to 200 people but we have only gotten quotes for 140 (cake, catering, etc) but we invited 180. Now for us its not THAT stressful because we can change our cake size and catering number and pay the difference, which isn’t in our budget but we can make it work since our budget isn’t exactly set in stone). However, we figure our number will still be around 140 because we know for a fact some people won’t come and figure some family friends may have other plans as well since our wedding is easter weekend.

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