(Closed) Inviting more people than you can fit/pay for?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@heatherlm84:  I’m also one of those who is totally OK with having an A list and a B list.  We’re having a very small, intimate wedding (50-60 people tops).  A lot of these guests will be from out of town and because of kids, work schedules, financial considerations, etc. I know quite a few people who I would like to invite probably won’t make it out.  We could probably think of a guest list of 200 people, but that’s not the kind of wedding we want to have.

I know one engineer did a rough calculation on his guest list, where he attributed how likely guests were going to attend, and calculated how many extra invitations needed to go out.  He said that his estimation was pretty close to correct.  I wouldn’t mind doing this, but I’ve already been surprised by a couple friends who I planned to invite but didn’t think they would come out for our party.

Post # 48
Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We sent out alot alot extra and if everyone had come w. Would have been around 100 over but we ended up having several empty pews and 200 ish left over cup cakes – so it just depends on your circle.

Post # 49
Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We sent out alot alot extra and if everyone had come w. Would have been around 100 over but we ended up having several empty pews and 200 ish left over cup cakes – so it just depends on your circle.

Post # 50
Member
8031 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@wbg21:  I agree with you. And I don’t believe for a minute that everyone at a 400 person wedding is close to the bride or groom. Invite those that you’re close to… not people you’re pressured into inviting.

Post # 51
Member
3088 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We didnt intend to do this.  We were very strict about our 50.  My entire family declined an informal invitation to the wedding.  So when we started planning a year ago it was without them.  Now they all say theyre coming…huh?  +11 and then we didnt count children but once my family was coming and FI’s nephews were already coming…ends up we are kid friendly.  +9.  Ugghh…happy ugghhhs.

Post # 52
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@Birdee106:  Wow who invites 390 when their venue can only hold 250, thats 140 more than the venue can accomodate, a very huge mistake on your friends part!

Only invite your max or what you can afford to pay. You can also considering doing a B list, as you get regrets in send out another invitation to someone on the B list.

Post # 53
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@MargaritaVille:  +1. We b-listed. when we ended up inviting a handful, most of them came and had a great time! One who couldn’t make it still invited me to her NYE wedding and we’re going. She’s a friend (a closer friend of a couple of my friends) but we both know we’re not besties so there were no hard feelings.

Post # 54
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We’re lucky in that we technically don’t have an upper limit (the benefit of having friends and family hosting and catering!). We’ve capped our list at 200 invites, though we’re only expecting about 150-160 to attend. We’ve also got a B-list (which is apparently super-rude??), though most of the people on that list realise that we can’t invite everyone we know, and will be more than happy to come with only a few hours notice.

Post # 55
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We’re inviting a while lot more, but it’s intercontinental for most, so we’re safe!

Post # 56
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We have a very strict budget and since the wedding will be smaller we expect everyone will show up. Because I’m up in the air about a couple of my +1s, that is the only “extra” I am factoring in while I plan.

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