Post # 1
If I were to write my whole story on here I would probably need a whole 600 pages or so lol!
To make things short and sweet, I need some advise…
When I was 13 years old (about 13 yrs ago) my dad passed away in a very unexpected manner….we lived in Colombia and due to the circumstances, we moved to the States permanently. We had an incredibly tight family bond before the move…I’m talking about family bbq’s, picnics, trips, christmas parties, etc ALL the time…BUT ever since my dad died and we moved, we started becoming more and more distant from each other (the distance between us was a huge part of it) and the older I got, the more I started finding out more and more about my uncles, aunts and even grandparents…some really awful stuff, just things that you would think your family never would to do to you.
I am SO excited that I am getting married in February and I even ordered a spanish version of my invites… BUT now that I finally sent my invitations out to my people in the States, I am having second thoughts about actually sending my “other” invites to my family in Colombia…is that bad? I just really honestly don’t even care anymore if they were to show up…I kind of rather they don’t. Since there are alot of hurt feelings and emotions from past events, I really just consider my mom and my two younger sisters my real family and I am perfectly fine with that.
Please help me…I just don’t know if what I am doing is inconsiderate or I a just being over dramamtic. I just sort of have mixed feelings of sharing such a special day for me with people that have caused alot of heartache for my mom and sisters.
Post # 3
Haha I opened this thinking I might get some help with my long lost family, but mine’s a completely different situation.
I think that if your long lost family has done terrible things to you and your family, then they’re not worth inviting. I think ‘terrible things’ is very broad, and may need an outside opinion from someone you are comfortable sharing these things with. It really depends on what they did to you, and if it is something that you can forgive and forget.
But if you really feel that what they have done is that bad, then I think that it’s YOUR day, and you don’t want people there that will drag you down or make you feel bad.
Post # 4
I guess to me it would matter how your mom feels about them coming. As long as neither of you go into this with the expectation that inviting them, regardless of whether or not they come, will change things, I guess you’ll be OK. I’d just be afraid they say yes, and you get excited that things might be repaired, and they get here and nothing changes.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
When’s the last time you saw these other family members/when do you expect you’d see them again? Is it more important to have them at the wedding than other close friends?
Is your wedding date correct? Flying to Alaska from Colombia, in February, would probably keep a lot of your extended family from making the trip.
Post # 6
Personally I wouldn’t invite people I didn’t really know. I would much rather have extra friends and family that are close to me.
Post # 7
If you don’t feel comfortable having them there- don’t invite them. This is YOUR day.
Post # 8
Thanks ladies…. at one point in my life, we were incredibly close..as time has gone by, we have become more and more distant. I haven’t seen them in over 10 yrs.
@rebwana: I am actually having the wedding in FL. I live in Alaska currently. I haven’t been to Colombia in over 10 yrs.
@jothecatlady: my mom told me that its up to me to invite them…she would be fine with it. I HIGHLY doubt things would be repaired ifthey showed up.
Thanks for the feedback. I just wanted to know or understand if I was being unreasonable for not wanting them to come….my own family…. :/
Bleh, HOORAY for getting married though! 🙂