(Closed) Inviting my MIL's stepkids ?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 19
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

You’re definitely not doing anything wrong.  You can invite or not invite anyone you want.  Your Mother-In-Law can’t dictate the guest list, especially if she’s not pitching in financially.  And if it was that important to her, she should have mentioned it way sooner.

Post # 20
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I totally get it not crossing your mind, it was definitely an after thought for my SO.

It’s a tricky one! I hope that you can explain to Future Mother-In-Law and FSFIL that you are simply looking at it from a budget standpoint and you unfortunately just can’t afford to host more people. Good luck!

Post # 22
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FrenchyPeedee:  In my mind it’s pretty clear: if they’re dependent kids, you invite them. If they’re adults, you don’t. Since in your case they’re adults, you don’t. Once you become an adult you are independent and not an extension of your parents.

My Father-In-Law is remarried and we never invite his wife’s adult daughter (and her family) to our family events, and she doesn’t invite us to ours. There’s no hard feelings, and we’re friendly the few times we meet. But it’s understood they’re not related to us, there are simply relatives of relatives.

Post # 24
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It sounds like maybe this is about something else for him. Does he in general feel like he’s somehow excluded/not treated like “real” family?

You’re not doing anything wrong by not inviting people you barely know to a wedding where you are trying to make every dollar count.  But if you explain that you’re trying to keep costs down, your Father-In-Law may offer to cover the cost for them. Would you be willing to invite them then? Or do you not want to invite a thief to your wedding? I personally would be really uncomfortable with that; your guests will have purses etc. that would make inviting targets.


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