(Closed) Inviting my mother's boyfriend

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

mrspadilla:  Realistically, you can’t. You can simply choose to go about your wedding day focussing on those people who do mean something to you and avoid stressing yourself out about something over which you have no control.

Post # 3
7357 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

As the mother of the bride, your mother has the place of honored guest and should be allowed to bring the escort of her choice. Plan the seating so you’re not seated with your mom for dinner, and have the photographer get enough posed and candid shots without the boyfriend that it won’t matter if he’s pictured in some of the rest. Remind yourself that your wedding day is about all your friends and family, not just about you (otherwise, no one would have receptions and we’d all get married in private) and don’t lose sight of how much it means to your mother to have him there. It’s so ething you’ll need to do for your mom, even if you don’t like it.

Post # 4
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Horseradish:  When it comes to abuse and violence and the threat of violence, normal rules of etiquette don’t apply.

OP – if your mother’s SO is merely obnoxious, then you really probably need to just suck it up and let him come.<br /><br />On the other hand, if he’s legitimately abusive and violent then you don’t. Tell your mother he’s not invited and if she should bring him he’ll be asked to leave. This may be a situation where you have to choose between having your mother at your wedding or not.  

Post # 5
578 posts
Busy bee

I would choose to not invite the abusive boyfriend, but do so knowing that your mom will not attend. If you want your mom to be there, you have to expect him to come.

Post # 6
510 posts
Busy bee

If you’ve allowed him to come to other events in the past, to choose to suddenly stop extending an invitation at a wedding is a very dramatic place to draw the line. If his behaviour is abominable, it should have been made clear years ago that he is not welcome, regardless of your mother’s tantrums. To do so now is a bit delayed and can’t be done without serious fallout. 

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