(Closed) Inviting Non-Wedding Invitees to Bridal Shower

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Usually it’s not a good or nice idea to invite people to a bridal shower that aren’t being invited to the wedding. Maybe you could hold a party sometime after the wedding to celebrate with those who you can’t invite to the wedding itself? It would be a great way to celebrate your first anniversay, yes?

Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Definitely don’t do it. It may come off like you are fishing for gifts. I like the idea of having some sort of party after the actual wedding where you are free to invite whomever you want without worrying about head count. The 1st anniversary thing is a great idea. But, yeah, the general rule – which I personally think is a good one – is that you can’t invite anyone to the shower or bachelorette who isn’t being invited to the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I also agree that it tends to be agains etiquite to invite people to the shower that aren’t invited to a wedding. Holding a lunch or other get together with them before the wedding, or a party afterward like chianti said would be a good idea though!

Post # 7
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s also pretty telling, that when you asked some of them, they seemed to be less than thrilled.  It sounds like they might be hurt that they aren’t invited to the wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would have to agree with the other ladies and say it’s perfectly fine to want to have a more inclusive celebration with these people, but I would create a wholly separate event.  A shower isn’t JUST presents, it’s also a meet-and-greet opportunity to your wedding guests.  Honestly, think about people chit-chatting about wedding details, expressing their excitement about the big day, in front of someone who isn’t invited.  It doesn’t really matter what the reason is–it still wouldn’t feel good to be the one not invited and have to be present for that sort of stuff. 

It really is a shame that you guys aren’t able to invite many of your mutual friends–those are the people who spend the most time with the two of you as a couple I assume, and they’re the ones who will hopefully be around to support you as you grow as a couple through the years.  I would throw a fun BBQ or themed party after the wedding–serve great drinks, food, maybe even have a running slideshow of your wedding portraits playing on a TV or laptop somewhere. 

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