(Closed) inviting officiant to rehearsal dinner?

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think you should invite the officiant. It’s traditional to do so, and he may learn something nice about your family that he can incorporate into the ceremony (maybe a mention of your future father-in-laws toast that teared you up or something like that).

Post # 4
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Yep, maybe you should get to know them, they will be marrying you.  The reception dinner is a good opportunity, if not to get to know you, to get to know your family and friends.

And if they feel awkward about it, they will decline.

Post # 5
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Are you having him at the rehearsal?  If so, you should invite him to the Rehearsal Dinner. 

If he really doesn’t have much connection to you, he will probably decline.  Our officiant and his wife are coming to our RD; we didn’t know them at all before this, but have become friendly during our premarital counseling.  My sister’s officiant was a sort of rent-a-pastor who came with the chapel, and they met with him once before the rehearsal.  She invited him to the Rehearsal Dinner, but he didn’t attend.

You could look at it this way – even though you wouldn’t be talking a lot with the officiant at the Rehearsal Dinner, it will give him a chance to meet and talk with your family and friends, which will give him a little more insight into your personality as well.

Post # 7
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

can you have a friend "marry" you at your ceremony and then go down to city hall (or the Canandian equivalent) to get legally married.  that’s what we are doing (in the US).  just so you know, even though a lot of ppl in the US have a friend or relative do it, most of the times, it’s not "official".

if that works, then you’ll avoid the whole Rehearsal Dinner question…. but if that doesn’t work, I think you extend the invitation, chances are, he’ll say no (especially if he is an officiant by profession and marries a lot of ppl).

Post # 8
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2008

We have met our priest for a total of 5 minutes – but we felt that it was better to err on the side of being too inclusionary rather than exclusionary and invited him both to the Rehearsal Dinner as well as the reception.  He’s a no for both, but at least we offered.

Post # 9
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I also agree that your officiant should at least be invited to both. As many have already stated,  he and his wife will likely decline if they feel awkward about it.

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