(Closed) Inviting officiant to the rehearsal dinner?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it necessary to invite the officiant to the rehearsal dinner?

    Yes - doesn't matter the circumstance

    No - why should I? He/she is a vendor!

    Yes - IF ONLY I know him on a personal level (ie: family pastor)

  • Post # 2
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I thought it was proper etiquette to invite them. But that might be awkward if you don’t know them. 

    Post # 3
    2366 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    In my experience if the officiant is conducting the rehearsal you invite him. If he isn’t it’s not required.

    Post # 4
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Our officiant explicitly stated in the contract not to invite them to the dinner or count them in the vendor/reception meal count. They’re a professional ministry officiant though, for what it’s worth. They had all the questions on etiquette for that kind of thing outlined and covered in the contract. If they were a family friend I’d invite them. 

    Post # 5
    1290 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think you have to invite officiant and his/her spouse to wedding, I do not know similiar rule for WD.  I think if officiant is with church/temple etc that bride or groom or their family regularly attends, yes, invite to Rehearsal Dinner.  Otherwise, no. 

    Post # 6
    30 posts

    From what I’ve heard, most officiants will likely decline to attend your rehearsal dinner as well as your reception. It is polite to extend the invite though regardless of your relationship. Of course, if you abandon ettiquette on this one the only person that will be upset with you is somebody you don’t have a relationship.. who happens to be performing your wedding ceremony within the coming days. I’m sure they would not be offended or unprofessional though!

    Post # 7
    588 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I did not vote bc I figure yes only if you want to. I know it is customary so I did it but she made some really strange, almost snide comments. So if I had it to do over I might not.

    Post # 8
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I invited mine to be polite. We don’t know her personally. She thanked me for the invite but politely turned it down. Worked for me. It would have been a little awkward for her anyway not knowing anyone. 

    Post # 9
    683 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Most officiants do decline, but mine didn’t and I wish I had not invited her. I won’t forget a couple of remarks she made that I considered rude and insulting. If you have any doubts then to hell with etiquette, think of yourself and reducing stress. Also my Mother-In-Law was such a pain in the ass about the guest list, so keep in mind also who is paying and whether that person will be difficult about inviting the officiant and guest.

    Post # 10
    1726 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m not sure what the etiquette is on this, but our officiant was my bff so he was definitely included in our rehearsal dinner. I think you could probably invite to be nice and polite, and leave it up to them.

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