(Closed) Inviting on some co-workers?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

If you know some of the people you would like to invite have to work, why not invite them anyway so they know you didn’t leave them out and count on them not being able to make it. Maybe even say something along the lines of I’d love to have you there but I understand the work schedueling, just didn’s want to leave you out. This way they don’t feel slighted and you already know they can’t come unless there is a way for them to switch their schedule. I invited all of my co-workers (we’re a small team of 8) and a date knowing that the chances of any of them traveling to our wedding would be pretty slim (the whole department can’T go on vacation at once) but if we happened to get 16 positive responses I would have been happy to have them, 2 almost came with their husbands but ended up having a work conflict. I think they all appriciated the invite though and was glad I decided to invite the whole team.  

Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve always heard that the best way to narrow down coworkers is, who do you see outside of the work day? If you’re close enough to talk or hang out outside of work I’d say invite them, and if not, don’t. That’s how Fiance and I will narrow it down.

Post # 5
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I like what PP had to say.  And as far as the boss I would invite them out of courtesy and the need for job security. 🙂 

Your date is a ways away though so I would keep a mum mouth about who is invited since you never know who may end up leaving, transferring, etc. 

Post # 6
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with the PP, I would probably not talk about the wedding at work and keep quiet about who is being invited.

It might be okay to send invites to the ones who don’t have the weekend off since you know they won’t all be able to make it.  I think it might seem rude to not mention them because they have work.

Post # 7
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I also work on a hospital unit and had the same issue when we decided who to invite. I only invited a group of coworkers that I actually see outside of work. I did not invite my boss because that, to me, would be wierd to have her at a personal event.

 I didn’t make it very public that I invited those few people, although it’s not like a secret we are keeping either. I just gave them their invitations in private.  Everyone at work knows my wedding is coming up and people ask about it all the time and get excited for me without seeming the least bit defensive over not being invited.

Post # 8
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Are you able to invite them all to the wedding ceremony?  Then invite your coworkers that you consider friends to the reception as well.  That may or may not work out, but it is an option you may want to consider.  

Post # 9
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am going through this issue as well.  I have absolutely no intention of inviting my boss – she is a good boss, but I would never socialize with her outside of work.  Besides the fact that she RSVP’d to another coworker’s wedding last year and then didn’t show up and had a lame excuse.  Another coworker is actually one of my BMs so she is really the only one I talk to about the wedding.  I specifically did not send Save-The-Date Cards to any coworkers (except the BM) so that I can decide closer to the wedding who I will actually invite – probably only 1 or 2 (with dates). 

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My co-worker invited all 23 people in our office, from secretaries, to her boss, to the executive director of our agency. Not everyone attended, and some of those did not even give her a gift.

Fiance and I both have large families and could not accomodate everyone plus their spouses, etc. I invited 3 co-workers in which I’m on a more personal level with. I invited their husbands, but the 3 of them have decided to go together. I am not inviting my boss.

Post # 11
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would only invite the people that you want there and are close to!

Post # 12
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I also had a minimum to meet… so I was always inviting coworkers.

I work with a lot of people, and talk talk talk talk alot. It’s a team environment that requires a lot of communication, and people get offended if you just walk up to them and start talking work.. so there is always small talk. With that said… my small talk is weddings. It’s about the only thing going on in my life. It’s a lot of work! Since I talk about the wedding a lot at work, so I inivited all of my managers. I need them to like me after wedding maddness is over! I’m also being very inflexible about my time off (I can’t move a wedding!) so it’s the least I can do. We usually need to be very flexible about time off.

I inivited everyone in my work group (15 people and their dates) and about half of them declined. I’m not close with them all and they didn’t make the effort to come (we aren’t close!). But at least I was able to just tell other coworkers, ones not in my group, that I just inivited my work group and left it at that.. a clear line so that people don’t get offended.

If you wait till closer to the wedding to invite (maybe 1 month out), then maybe the ‘maybe’s’ will turn into No’s due to the lack of notice?

Post # 13
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t feel guilty 🙂 you can only invite a certain number of people, and hopefully the coworkers you are unable to invite will understand that. I agree that the best rule of thumb is only to invite people you hang out with outside of work.

I work in a very tight knit office about about 50 people, we often have company parties and everyone is rather friendly. Five of us are engaged and in different stages of planning a wedding (I’m the only female) and 2 of my bridesmaids are also coworkers. It is very difficult to not talk about plans, whether it be my specific plans or comparing notes with the others who are getting married. I just try to keep things non-specific and make sure I dont talk about plans in a large group. I’m sure most of the people will understand that I am only inviting close friends. If they don’t I have my canned “I’m sorry but I’d love to invite everyone but we don’t have the space” response 🙂 

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