Post # 1
Here’s the situation: we are planning to invite a couple to our wedding who we are good friends with. I am also friends with their oldest child (20 years old and lives with her parents and younger siblings) and would like to invite her to the wedding as well. Because we want to invite her, does that mean that we need to invite the couple’s other 3 children as well?
Is this something that we can get around by sending seperate invitations to the couple and their daughter? Can we simply state “Mr & Mrs Blah Blah and Miss Blah Blah” on the invitation? Or do we have to invite the whole family?
Post # 3
This is tricky. I’m in a very similar situation where I’m friends with the oldest daughter but the other kids are significantly younger. And there are 5 of them. We decided to invite all the kids because we are inviting kids from other families and we just thought they would see it as rude to not invite all the kids. It all kind of comes down to what you want to deal with. More people or the family potentially being upset because the other kids weren’t invited? I think separate invitiations is the way to go if you decide to only invite 1 kid. Just be prepared that it may be awkward.
Post # 4
How old are the other kids? Are you inviting other children? If they are younger than 14, I would say that it would probably be ok. If they are in their teens and closer in age to the oldest, I’d say that it would be extremely rude not to invite them.
Another thing you could do is send the oldest child a seperate invitation addressed just to her.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
What are the other kid’s ages? If they’re not adults, you should be fine.
I would recommend sending 2 seperate invitations, one to your couple friends, and one to their eldest child seperately. Then, if/when they ask, you can explain that while you like their kids, you want it to be adults only.
Post # 6
If they’re close in age you can’t pick and choose, but if they’re young kids you could be able to get away with it. How will the parents respond? I agree that it could make things really awkward.
I would probably just invite all the kids, but I always prefer not to rock the boat.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
I would treat the 20 year-old as an adult (she is one, after all) and send her a seperate invitation. Hopefully the family will understand and be polite enough not to probe for more invites.
Post # 8
I would say it’s either the parents only, or everyone. You can’t pick-and-choose kids from the family to invite without coming across as a bit rude. You should also send separate invitiations to each person/couple over the age of 18.
Post # 9
i think it depends on their age. are you inviting other children of the same age? then i would say invite them too. if you have an age cut-off, then stick with that. it’s really up to you. if they are going to put you over your guest limit, then, no.
i remember when i was young, my parents and my brother and sister were invited to a wedding and i was not. the age cut off was 10. my brother and sister were 11 and 10. i was 9. my parents respected the couple’s wishes and were not offended.
Post # 10
The 20 year old is an adult and it sounds like her siblings aren’t. So I see no reason why she shouldn’t just get a seperate invitation (as well as a guest). Whatever you do, don’t send her an invitation combined with the parents.
Post # 11
Thank you for all of the advice!
The other children are 16, 14, and 12. The only other children that are being invited are two of my cousins (ages 10 and 12) who I am extremely close with. Everyone else will be over 18.
Post # 12
Send separate invites to the couple and the daughter. Since she is 20 (adult) and your friend she can be considered completely separate from her parents.
Post # 13
If questioned, just say it’s an over 18 event (not including family). The 20 year old is not a ‘kid’, she’s an adult. That should be enough information for them.
Post # 14
We invited my my cousin who babysits for us, she is 16-17 and her older sister, and they have a younger brother who is 14, and we just wrote the parents name and the girls name. Only reson im inviting her older sister is because I felt it would be weird ?
But my excuse about there brother is that he has not finished school and we will be serving acohol