(Closed) Inviting one couple plus their oldest child?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7112 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is tricky. I’m in a very similar situation where I’m friends with the oldest daughter but the other kids are significantly younger. And there are 5 of them. We decided to invite all the kids because we are inviting kids from other families and we just thought they would see it as rude to not invite all the kids. It all kind of comes down to what you want to deal with. More people or the family potentially being upset because the other kids weren’t invited? I think separate invitiations is the way to go if you decide to only invite 1 kid. Just be prepared that it may be awkward.

Post # 4
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

How old are the other kids? Are you inviting other children? If they are younger than 14, I would say that it would probably be ok. If they are in their teens and closer in age to the oldest, I’d say that it would be extremely rude not to invite them.

Another thing you could do is send the oldest child a seperate invitation addressed just to her.

Post # 5
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

What are the other kid’s ages? If they’re not adults, you should be fine. 

I would recommend sending 2 seperate invitations, one to your couple friends, and one to their eldest child seperately.  Then, if/when they ask, you can explain that while you like their kids, you want it to be adults only. 

Post # 6
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If they’re close in age you can’t pick and choose, but if they’re young kids you could be able to get away with it. How will the parents respond? I agree that it could make things really awkward.

I would probably just invite all the kids, but I always prefer not to rock the boat.

Post # 7
740 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

I would treat the 20 year-old as an adult (she is one, after all) and send her a seperate invitation.  Hopefully the family will understand and be polite enough not to probe for more invites.

Post # 8
9877 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would say it’s either the parents only, or everyone.  You can’t pick-and-choose kids from the family to invite without coming across as a bit rude. You should also send separate invitiations to each person/couple over the age of 18.

Post # 9
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think it depends on their age.  are you inviting other children of the same age?  then i would say invite them too.  if you have an age cut-off, then stick with that.  it’s really up to you.  if they are going to put you over your guest limit, then, no.

i remember when i was young, my parents and my brother and sister were invited to a wedding and i was not.  the age cut off was 10.  my brother and sister were 11 and 10.  i was 9.  my parents respected the couple’s wishes and were not offended.

Post # 10
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The 20 year old is an adult and it sounds like her siblings aren’t.  So I see no reason why she shouldn’t just get a seperate invitation (as well as a guest).  Whatever you do, don’t send her an invitation combined with the parents.

Post # 12
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Send separate invites to the couple and the daughter. Since she is 20 (adult) and your friend she can be considered completely separate from her parents. 

Post # 13
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If questioned, just say it’s an over 18 event (not including family). The 20 year old is not a ‘kid’, she’s an adult. That should be enough information for them.

Post # 14
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We invited my my cousin who babysits for us, she is 16-17 and her older sister, and they have a younger brother who is 14, and we just wrote the parents name and the girls name. Only reson im inviting her older sister is because I felt it would be weird ? 


But my excuse about there brother is that he has not finished school and we will be serving acohol 

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