(Closed) Inviting people from work

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think there is anything wrong with emailing them for their addresses. If you’re concerned about others in your office finding out, perhaps ask the two you would like to invite to NOT make it public knowledge.  But in all honesty, if you’re not close with anyone else really, who cares?

Post # 4
Hostess
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Co-workers are tough for those reasons exactly. First, you need to decide whether you really want those two there. And if you do, that’s fine, but you need to be prepared that others at work might think they are invited or be a little irritated that they aren’t invited.

That said, if you choose to invite them (which you’re totally welcome to do), you may want to talk to them privately and let them know you are trying to be sensitive to the office dynamic and would appreciate them being discreet about their invite to your wedding.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This worries me, too!

Post # 6
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

this issue seems to be a headache for everyone! i am trying to convince Fiance not to invite any of his coworkers, because it’s either his whole division or no one, and our guest list can’t support all of them. ultimately, i’m afraid there’s no easy (or perfect) solution.

Post # 7
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am very close with several of my co-workers. I see them/talk to them more than my friends sometimes! However, I decided not to invite them. If you invite one, you have to invite the other 4 or 5 -and their SO’s. They understand not being invited and it’s out of town anyway so I hope they don’t care!

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think in general at work people understand when it comes to weddings. Just try not to talk about your wedding in front of the people you didn’t invite and maybe ask the 2 people who are getting invites to keep it on the DL.

Post # 9
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with moderndaisy, I’ve never been offended when I wasn’t invited to a coworkers wedding and others were. I understand that some people are closer than others and you can’t invite everybody. As long as you aren’t talking about your wedding constantly or misleading people into thinking they are invited, you’re fine.

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

it’s funny, i was just talking to my mom about this earlier today.  in my case, my boss and the 3 other people in my group are always asking me about the wedding planning, and i’ve always been very friendly with them, so i think i will invite them.  however, we’ll be doing our wedding 8 hours away from here, so i would be surprised if more than 1 of them decide to come.

Post # 11
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

A very interesting topic.  I only invited the co-workers with whom I have done things outside of work (and their SOs).  That was 3 current and 3 former.  I’ve been at my job for nearly 18 years.  I also asked them not to throw a work shower (although my paralegal would have gladly done it).  This way, I was able to keep it “private.”

Darling Husband, on the other hand, had been in his job for about 3 years and invited all of his in his small section.  I pick him up from work regularly, so his co-workers all recognize me.  There were only about 8 of them (12 w/ SOs since 2 co-workers are married to each other).

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