Post # 1
If there’s someone you’d like to have at your wedding but you know that they won’t be able to attend, should you still send them an invitation?
For example, elderly relatives who live overseas and can no longer travel due to ill health. I don’t want them to feel like we’re excluding them by not inviting them, but I want them to know that we’re aware of their circumstances and don’t expect them to come when it isn’t possible for them.
This may be a sensitive issue and as the people in question are generally elderly extended family members I don’t feel that we could have an open, honest conversation with them about it.
Post # 2
I think you should still invite them. We invited our elderly relatives (mainly living grandparents) and to our surprise my husband’s grandmother was able to make it! I think it’s different if someone informs you before you send out the invites that they cannot make it, I wouldn’t send those individulas an invite because it could be seen as trying to get a gift out of them.
Post # 3
Anyone we want to have at the wedding is getting an invitation regardless of whether or not we think they will be able to attend.
An invitation is not a summons, people know they can rsvp no.
Post # 4
Generally speaking, you know these people better than we do. Some people may be hurt by not receiving an invitation.
Post # 5
I’m doing the same. A lot of my family lives back home in my country of origin. I will still invite them because it’s important in our traditions that they feel a part of it even if they don’t attend. Plus if you send paper invitations, they can have them as a keepsake. It’s very rude in my culture to leave family members out whether you know they will be attending or not and I think in general it is good practice to make everyone that loves you feel included.
Post # 6
Yes, invite them–the likelihood is that they will be happy that you asked; the greater likelihood is that they will be offended if you don’t.
And BTW–don’t assume that they won’t come! You would be surprised at the heroics people will display to get to a wedding!
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
I’m inviting a friend who will have a week old baby (going by due date) and cousins who live on the other side of the world and I’m 99% sure won’t make it. I’d love them to be there if they could so they are definitely getting invites.
Post # 8
I definitely agree that you should invite them. I know some people who would be deeply offended if they weren’t. Even if they can’t make it.
Post # 9
I think you invite them, and let them make the decision. They’re adults, they can accept or decline. But yes, invite them.
Post # 10
We are inviting people who we know won’t come. We just think it’s proper etiquette.
Post # 11
Yes. You should still invite people that you don’t expect to attend.
Post # 12
I would invite them. I invited people who ended up not being able to come. It was gracious to extend the invitation and they appreciated it.
Post # 13
it’s not up to you to decide if someone else can or cannot attend. Only if you don’t want them there and then do not invite them.
Post # 14
You should invite everyone that you would love to attend, regardless of whether you think they’ll be able to attend or not. They are adults and are therefore able to determine for themselves whether they’ll be able to make the trip – an invitation is not a summons so I doubt that they’ll feel like they must attend no matter what.
Post # 15
Invite them! It’s up to them to decide whether they can/want to come or not, but not inviting them deprives them of making their own choice. I have a grandmother who has declined my engagement party because it’s at night, an hour from her home, and in an upstairs restaurant (she’s on a walking frame) – I’m sad she can’t come, but I understand, and she would have felt excluded if I hadn’t extended the invitation.